Why I Left Facebook

Oh Facebook. That social space we all hate to love, love to hate.

I’ve had exactly that kind of relationship with Facebook ever since I joined back in 2008. While there are myriad reasons to love the platform—staying in touch with overseas friends, seeing photos of relatives and their offspring, knowing exactly what all your contacts are up to on any given week—there are even more reasons why Facebook is the devil.

I am completely biased in my opinion, namely because Facebook has caused the demise of at least three friendships. It’s sad, really, to think a simple “like,” “friend,” or “unfriend” could cause such catastrophe, but the truth is, they do.

I quit Facebook for a long time a few years ago after my first Facebook-related friend drama, and was perfectly content to be off the Facebook grid, so-to-speak. But not long after, I wanted to create a Facebook page for G&G, and the only way to manage it was through an existing profile. So back to Facebook I went.

Until today.

Facebook dislike button

Today, I officially parted ways with my personal Facebook account when I discovered that I could now manage my page with a simple email login. I”m not going to say I won’t miss some people and I’m kind of sad about that, but unfortunately, as you probably know, once you accept that invitation for friendship, recalling it can be extremely problematic.

My G&G page is still up, for those of you who like see new posts in your Facebook home feed. But for me, I’m out. I have deleted the app from my phone, and have officially deactivated. Goodbye, Facebook. Sayonara.

This is why…

  1. Since Facebook is a written medium, gestures, intonation, and facial expressions (beyond the emoticon) are lacking. Which leaves a terrifying amount of room for interpretation and miscommunication. Trust me, it’s bad when that happens. And it happens often.
  2. Football game play-by-play status updates. Just kill me now.
  3. All the mudslinging and political posturing posted around election time. You know what happens when die-hard conservatives and die-hard liberals start posting…the claws come out.
  4. The whiners…I used to be one of them, I’ll admit. When I was in Oz and super homesick, Facebook was my only outlet with the time difference (and Skype wasn’t on mobile phones yet). I learned my lesson about that after one friendship blew up due to a whiny, misinterpreted Facebook status update, and then I saw just how irritating the daily whiners can be years later when some appeared in my own feed.
  5. Candy Crush and other game invitations and updates. And those stupid Bitstrips that were popular for a nanosecond.
  6. The people who ask questions on Facebook that they should just Google themselves.
  7. The people who obsessively change their profile pictures and cover photos. Seriously, have you nothing else to do?
  8. Friend requests from people at work, or a friend of a friend you met that one time. Don’t accept and you’re a jerk. Accept and then you spend the rest of the “friendship” restricting their access to your updates or photos because you don’t want them knowing everything about your private life. And you don’t really care to know about theirs. It’s a nightmare.
  9. The “in a relationship” with someone else on Facebook status updates. I can see how teens would love this, because they don’t have the “is engaged” or “got married” life event. But grown people? Proclaiming they are a couple on Facebook? Really?
  10. I don’t need one more thing to check obsessively. I have Twitter and Instagram for that. ;)

How about you? Love Facebook? Hate it? Has it caused you any friendship/relationship issues?

Comments

  1. says

    I honestly don’t do much in regards to personal life on FB….every few months I will post pics of the kids/ at events/holidays etc. I LOVE seeing friends and families children and of course connecting with people that I otherwise wouldn’t. BUT I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND what you are saying on all counts. I am definitely “friends” wth people I couldn’t care less about, because I felt bad not friending them…and sometimes cringe when people “overshare” with personal things and/or give us their political agenda…yuck!

    All that said…it is a HUGE part of my business. I do SO much in regards to personal shopping on there it really makes up about 50 percent of my business. I suppose because styling/personal shopping is SO visual…it just works SO well with FB which is completely visually driven. Twitter does NADA for me..so I spend NADA time on there and don’t even build an audience.

    I was REALLY late to the game on IG…I just joined about 6/7 months ago…what was I afraid of? I have ZERO idea…I LOVE IT! just a stream of pics/images…that is my kind of social media platform and it probably represents about 25 percent of my business as well…SO many people don’t have it yet…the thirtysomething mommies etc….I have to convince them to join by promising them outfits of the day etc….we shall see how it shakes out…

    OK..that is my social media breakdown…as if you asked for it! Ha!

    Hope you are well lady and see you on IG!
    C

    • says

      Hey you…I can totally understand that FB is good for your box service. Makes sense. I find that we all seem to have one social account that is stronger than the others. For me, it’s Twitter, followed by Instagram. For some reason (or maybe due to what Arash wrote in his comment below), I just don’t get much action on FB. Then again, I’ve never given it a lot of attention.

      Yeah, I really love Instagram because it is so brief and easy to use (not like FB, which is a nightmare in terms of usability). I love your seeing your shots…so glad you are on there!

      Thanks for sharing.

      xo

  2. says

    I actually find Facebook less and less appealing, both personally and business wise. I tend to post little on there and have the occasional browse to see what others are up to. I do use it for creating events with friends as getting them to ‘take notice’ often means sending them something on Facebook.

    In terms of my page it was all hunky dory up until a few months ago when Facebook admitted changing the algorithms to how far your posts reach on your page. In essence if I post something I expect all the people who have ‘liked’ my page to see that update. But it no longer works like that which I know peeved a lot of people off. I also started seeing a massive reduction in the number of people I was reaching with posts, regardless of whether I followed all the hallmark ‘likeable’ posts critera ie: photos, checking what time of day you post etc.

    I found Instagram and Google plus giving me much more engagement, longer tail engagement, i.e.: stuff I posted a while back still gets some interaction. Facebook I’ve found the hardest to ‘grow’ and delivers the lowest return on my time invested in it. So I’ve been debating whether to ditch it completely.
    Arash Mazinani’s latest post: What Can You Learn From The ‘Normcore’ Trend?My Profile

    • says

      Arash, I am with you 150%, and I’m guessing that algorithm is what has affected me too. I used to get more activity on FB, but not so much now. Ironically just today I saw an article about why bloggers shouldn’t use Networked Blogs to post to FB, because of the way the algorithm classifies those posts, which apparently zaps a lot of them from followers’ feeds. I’m still going to use it, however…I just cannot be bothered to post manually to a site/space I really don’t love anyway. The day I have to actually maintain my G&G FB page, is the day I will definitely ditch it!

      I never got into Google+ myself. I also found it challenging to use, albeit better looking than the FB experience. For me, it’s all Twitter, Instagram, and even Pinterest.

      Thanks much for your kind tweet today, and of course for all the fantastic comments you always leave here on G&G. So appreciative, especially because you’re the only man who drops by and shares his perspective. That is AWESOME!

  3. says

    I think face book is ok .. I belong to a cocker spaniel board which I love .. (what’s not to like about cocker spaniels!) and it’s nice to keep up with far away friends.

    But number three .. political crap .. ugh, a nightmare.

    Monica
    MonicaP’s latest post: Anti-inflammatory fruit smoothieMy Profile

    • says

      Hi Monica,

      I do love some of the boards, and will miss seeing their updates. I kind of forgot about that when I wrote this post. :(

      Thanks for your comment!

  4. says

    Your reasoning pushed me that much closer to leaving Facebook for a little while as well. It’s really gone downhill over the past year or so in my opinion. I’m sure if I didn’t rely on it for business purposes, I would have ditched it by now.
    Kayla Seah’s latest post: Style Is InstinctMy Profile

    • says

      You are so right…I’ve found it increasingly difficult to use and manage, and half of my friends updates just totally disappeared from my feed. Oh well.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Kayla!

  5. says

    I too have left Facebook behind. It seems like a great way to get stalked and I’m really big on privacy. Despite being a blogger, I don’t like people knowing my biz. I try to keep my professional life and personal life very separate. Facebook had the potential to intercede on my professional life and I can’t have that!
    fashnlvr’s latest post: Gotta Whole Lotta GloveMy Profile

    • says

      Amen, amen, amen, lady! I am just the same. I know it probably doesn’t make sense to people that we post stuff on our very public blogs, but freak out about people seeing too much on FB. I think that’s because for me, it’s always been a personal space, intended for sharing things with people I actually, really know. I found myself accepting friend invitations, then axing people regularly, not because I don’t like them, but because they really weren’t in my inner circle, you know?

      Anyway, hooray for us!

      • says

        I can control what happens on my blog. No one can control Facebook, not even zuckerberg! I created a Facebook profile for my blog so I wouldn’t friend people I knew if they weren’t into fashion or my blog. All in all I’m glad and relieved to be shut of it!
        fashnlvr’s latest post: Gotta Whole Lotta GloveMy Profile

  6. says

    I left Facebook for about 2 1/2 years after having it for 6 years. I went back for my blog and consulting work. I have a personal account where I originally didn’t add anyone. However, people started adding me (real friends!) and I felt like a jerk not to add them back. So I did. However, I find that since i have like a total of 20 friend on FB, I spent about 10 minutes a day on it. I was starting to get sucked back in because I had a ton of news sources that I followed, but decided to unfollow all of them. I find I get less sucked in this way.

    Anyway, this is a really long way of saying that for me FB is about balance. I’ll confirm people as friends so I don’t seem like a jerk, but I don’t go out looking for long lost classmates to follow, etc, etc. However, I could totally see myself deleting again. If my livelihood wasn’t tied to knowing how Facebook works and using it, I wouldn’t have it. At. All.
    Courtney’s latest post: Going Ad Free and Other Blogger ReflectionsMy Profile

    • says

      True, it is about balance, but those personal FB requests you don’t want…not easy to navigate! I never had a lot of friends (about 80, truly mostly people I know), but I’d get requests that if I did grant, I regretted, and if I didn’t grant…would make me look stuck-up or something. I do miss some of my FB friends, though. It is really my only line of communication with them. Who knows how long I’ll be gone, but for now, it’s just fine.

  7. says

    I originally set it up under my blog name and then set up a business page for my jewellery. I also have a profile in my actual name as I was planning on moving my blog name into a page but FB refused it saying someone else had the name. Bah all stupid. So I have a profile in my name that I don’t use, a profile in my blog name for sending blog posts through to, a business page and a unpublished blog page that I kept even though I couldn’t change it.

    I just really wish you could ring up with your problems and have them fixed over the phone. It would make it so much easier.
    Jewel Divas Style’s latest post: STYLE NOTES: Pink and blue glitter in the airMy Profile

  8. says

    I’ve ruined two or three friendships through Facebook as well, one was recent, it started with a joke post about Sochi Olympics, and ended up in a gay’s right discussion. And some people just couldn’t bear the fact that I support gay marriage… Facebook makes me sad… Also, I would add looking up exes profiles once in a while!
    ~Zhenya
    http://beingzhenya.com
    BeingZhenya’s latest post: Black and NudeMy Profile

    • says

      Sorry about the friendship breakup…I know it all too well. And yeah, the social views and political rants used to drive me crazy. I unfriended one person because he just wouldn’t shut up about his liberal agenda. I mean, think what you want, that’s great! But reading his rants all the time just irritated me. I really don’t like to talk politics at all. Causes so many issues.

  9. says

    Hahahaha! I agree with all of these, but I have one more reason too…

    I felt like every time I would post something, someone would try to argue with me. Maybe I’m just friends with argumentative people, but I would post something like “I love this new pink top” and someone would comment “FUCK YOU, BLUE IS BETTER!”

    Okay, so that was a fake example. Here’s a real one: one time, I posted a video about the mistreatment of animals. You know, one of those videos that no one wants to watch because it’s gross, scary and will probably make you change your eating habits. It’s a subject I’m passionate about, being a pescetarian and going paleo a couple times. It was something I felt the need to share, for the health of animals and humans alike. I posted it because I care about my friends and the people that follow me online. I thought it was something they should see, but obviously, they had the right to skip it. I wasn’t forcing anyone to check it out, especially since it was on my own page — I wasn’t blasting it on other peoples’. Unfortunately, I received a bunch of hateful comments, one being from someone who was supposed to be a good friend. She told me I was “pushing my beliefs on others” which I thought was ludicrous, because I was posting it on MY OWN PAGE! That would be like if you posted something on your blog and someone came over to your turf and said you were forcing other people to read it.

    Like you said in your last post, I don’t mind when people have different opinions. But if you’re accusing me of doing something that’s simply not true, and you’re doing it in a hateful manner — that’s something I can’t respect.

    Anyway, that was just one example but there were lots of similar issues I had. Facebook was a place for egos to run wild and people to boast about how their opinions were better than others’. This is why I got rid of my personal profile, and now I just stick with my blog page and even then I only say something when I have a new blog post up. A lot of people think it’s strange that I would delete my Facebook but still have my blog, but my blog feels more, I don’t know, under my control — and I don’t feel like everyone knows everything from visiting it. Facebook was just invasive, and I was sick of reading stuff about other people that I honestly didn’t care about.
    THE-LOUDMOUTH’s latest post: Loves :: Loudmouth in LagunaMy Profile

    • says

      I TOTALLY get this, Steph. And I feel exactly the same way about having a blog, and a blog FB page and not a personal one. Same logic for me, exactly.

      And you are right about the “pushing beliefs on others” comment your “friend” made. Totally inaccurate. Good for you for getting rid of your personal page, because with “friends” like that, who needs enemies? Thanks, but I’ll pass too.

  10. says

    I, too, have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. Now my whole extended family (cousins) has decided to put invites on FB rather than call. I nearly missed out on a birthday celebration this weekend because I didn’t check my FB events. I guess we don’t actually verbally invite people anywhere anymore, do we?

    I used to post updates of the funny things my son would say on FB all the time. Then I would wait for people to respond, “How cute!” or something to that effect. If I didn’t get any responses, I would think “Wow, doesn’t anyone think it’s cute?” and then feel offended. Whoa.

    So now, posts go up on FB because it’s connected to my blog or my Instagram. I read it for updates sometimes, but I don’t post nearly as much as I used to. I really just respond to what people say, and I don’t actively post (but I’m sure people think I do because of my Instagram). I’m also trying that Zindigo store front, but I’m not actively trying to promote it as much as I should. I may pull that all together as well.

    But I applaud you V. Even with my hesitations, I’m still there. I wonder if I could ever break free????

    xoxo
    Cyrillynn
    Any Second Now’s latest post: Randomness: Sold!My Profile

  11. Bree says

    Ahhhh…. V! Did you jump in my head and steal my thoughts?! While I completely “get” the appeal of Facebook, and even appreciate it’s worth for brands with pages, I got rid of my FB account about 6 weeks ago for identical reasons. I’ve never truly enjoyed it, and finally got to the point where I thought, “Why am I still on there?”. I still have a page/s to manage, so I have another account – without friends and set up so no one can add me as a friend either – and feel significantly happier as a result. At first I was worried I’d be seen as distancing myself from people, but then I realised that true friends know my number, email and birthday (and don’t need a social media account to stay in touch!).

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