This is Middle Age

I recently got an email that stopped me dead in my tracks. It started like this:

“Dear [V],

Since you are a prominent blogger among middle-aged women…”

As soon as my eyes hit that “middle-aged women” part, I thought: What the? Middle-aged? I’M NOT MIDDLE-AGED, PEOPLE. What do you mean, MIDDLE-AGED? I am YOUNG!

And then I realized this categorization was not a mistake. No fail of a PR-pitch. I did the math, and it’s true: 41 is middle age, if I’m lucky enough to get a good run, to say, age 80. That puts me square in the middle of my life. Middle-aged. Damn.

I don’t feel middle age.

At a very athletic, active…and dare I say…vibrant 41, I am blessed that my body and mind don’t feel middle-aged. In fact, the only thing I feel is kind of offended, in spite of the truth.

In my mind, “middle age” conjures images of salt-and-pepper-haired men with paunches, who cling desperately to their youth through reckless sex and reckless purchases. In my mind (and often in reality), middle-aged women are haggard, tired from a life of child-rearing and boredom. In my mind, to be middle-aged is to be disconnected from pop culture, to be a little clueless. As stupid as these generalizations are, they are what I truly think. Or thought.

So, in my mind, I am NOT middle age, because I am agile and free and aware. I do not long for another’s life because I did not sacrifice my own dreams and desires. I have time for pure vanity, unscheduled drinks, and impromptu sleep-ins; I can choose shoes that aren’t sensible, but I don’t need to be reckless to convince myself I’ve still got “it,” because I’ve never felt like I lost whatever “it” is.

I don’t even have kids!

This is by design. I have deliberately chosen to avoid unnecessary stress (and aging) by being childless by choice.

This is middle age.

This is middle age.

Aside from the fact that I just can’t bear the thought of bringing a child into this absolutely insane world, I’ve always felt that if I had a child, I’d feel old. It would mean I’d have to be a real grown-up. A full-fledged, 100% responsible adult. I’m not saying I’m not a responsible adult, but when you have a life to shape, an adult-in-training—and you’re the teacher for the next 18 years—it gives the term “responsible” new meaning.

When you have a child, you are no longer really you. You’re a mom (or a dad), and if you’re a good one, you really should lose a lot of yourself in the process, because selfishness and parenthood just don’t mix. Despite my own fear of parenthood, I have total respect for those who have chosen to sign up for it, for those who get what it really means to parent.

While many of my peers are balancing multiple children, birthday parties, soccer practice, dance lessons, jobs, and a home, Hubby and I still have the freedom of doing whatever we want to do, whenever we want. Our new little fur baby has restricted us somewhat, but as anyone with a child knows, the commitment to and requirements of a dog are not those of a child. I’m not responsible for anyone but myself, so I just don’t feel old. Old enough to have children. Or old enough to be called middle-aged. And yet I am.

But I do feel pretty good about my life.

If being middle-aged means having order in your life and achievements under your belt, then yes, I am. If being middle-aged means living a life with purpose and consciousness and honor, then yes, I am. Middle age is the break-in point, like a car humming at its optimum, engine well-oiled and able to handle the hills and valleys of life. I never felt this sure twenty years ago. I wouldn’t go back to my 20s if you paid me to.

The mileage of life gives you clarity of character, the courage to follow your path, no matter what other people think, and the wisdom to teach what you have learned. Now that I am officially middle-aged, I realize it may well be the best time of life, because the absoluteness of your soul is never more profound. Who you are—and who you aren’t—reverberates inside like the grounding vibration of a tuning fork, that deep hummmmmm pulling you closer to your true self, your true path. I…all of us…only need to listen.

Yes, I am middle-aged. Halfway between here and there, and loving it.

PS: Thanks, Debra, of Pretty Cool Woman, for inspiring this post.

 

What does middle age look like to you? Are you in it? How do you feel?

 

Comments

  1. Traci says

    Dont dispair dear sister. People are always wanting to pigeon hole us in some way. Im 44 and act and appear MUCH younger. I simply dont embrase the “middle age” label. pshhhaaaawwww to them!
    Traci in Colorado

    • says

      Hi Traci, thank you!

      Yes, uh, I’m not sure I could ever embrace the “middle-aged” label. It just doesn’t resonate with me. My mom is also very young at heart, in her late 60s…I would never look at her and classify her as old or even middle-aged…she is just too damn sharp for that!

  2. says

    Well you had me fooled because I would’ve never guessed that was your age!

    I remember before I turned 30 I was absolutely terrified because I thought I would officially be an old lady. But when I did turn 30, I felt like I was 20 again except a whole lot smarter (and with a lot more money! LOL) Now at 32 and officially a mom, yes being responsible for life makes you grow up real fast. But at the same time you do learn to slow down and enjoy the present ( no matter how messy it gets!)

    In the end, what I love about getting older is you become more sure of yourself, gain more confidence, and learn more about who you really are (and what you really aren’t!)

    Great post V!
    MJ’s latest post: 3 Ways to be Thankful Every DayMy Profile

    • says

      Hi lovely, thank you! Glad you liked this post.

      Yes, children rearrange one’s priorities PDQ! But as you wrote, for most, being older means being wiser, and that not only makes you feel better about you, it makes you a better model for your little one.

      Thanks, as always, for dropping by!

  3. says

    You are an awesome representation of what middle-age is! Crazy to think about it being… you. I hear ya about the responsibility of parenting… I’m in it now and part of me is in shock walking through my house at 3 am holding my 3 week old and peering in on my four year old. Like wait, when the hell did this happen?! They are the most incredible parts of my life, and yet, also the most stressful, if we’re being honest. They totally change who you are, mostly in good ways but also in others that maybe I could live without some days, if we’re being honest. :) Just not as easy to take a break or do things when you want to. I commend how you thoughtfully made the decision not to have children. Hope this doesn’t come across differently than intended but there’s such societal pressure to have children, to just follow a path, that I always admire those who determine their own. Adore you on so many levels!
    alyson’s latest post: holiday baby + little kiddie styleMy Profile

    • says

      Hey you…thanks for this! You are too sweet.

      I’m glad you understood the intent of my post…you wrote exactly what I was kind of saying: there IS a lot of pressure to fit into a certain mold, to have children. Especially amongst the Greeks. I’ve always kind of called my own shots, though. I am not really sure where it comes from.

      I know you are such a doting mom, and especially with your new addition, and your blog and business, you are pulled in a thousand directions. I’ve had several friends tell me that motherhood is rewarding, but hard as hell. That may have factored into my decision a little bit too. ;) Regardless, we all have to support each other no matter whether we choose to become parents or not.

      And doll, I adore you too!

  4. Mardi says

    I love this post. It says it all about today’s middle age. I’m 45 and have no children, not exactly by choice but I’m happy now that I didn’t have them as I see my friends and family running around here and there for the kids with no time for themselves or their partner. I have dyed my hair deep brown with hot pink ends rather than go what I call middle age blonde and I’m loving the clothes and makeup that I want to wear, not those that I “should” wear.

  5. says

    Thank you so much for this. I’m 27 + a little terrified of my 30s. I’m so scared of losing… something. That “je ne sais quoi”, quite literally. Also, I’m childfree and that’s harder when your 30s are coming! The pressure just ramps right up. Everyone I see on TV who’s my age has kids or wants them, and I don’t; I can’t handle it, I just can’t. So women who can fit the mold kind of leave me cold and bitter. I wish I wanted the mommy deal. I just don’t, and the older I get the more I feel there’s something wrong with me.

    I hope by the time I’m 41, things work out.
    Lune’s latest post: therestisdetail:

    “What are they playing at?” said Aziraphale….My Profile

    • says

      Hi Lune, thanks for your comment. I don’t think there is a thing wrong with listening to yourself if you do not want children. If more women would have listened to their inner voices, there would be a lot less neglected and abused children in the world, and at the minimum, less unhappy people.

      Just because you don’t want kids doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you! And you should take comfort in the fact that at least in today’s society, women have more options than ever, and we can choose not to become mothers and it’s just fine!

  6. says

    I am right with you feeling that “i’m not middle aged!” I received an email the other day wanting me to contrubute to a website for women 50 and over and I said to my husband, “have they seen my site? I’m not 50!” I don’t feel my age (43) but the bottom line is, that’s my age. And like you, we don’t have kids mainly because I never felt the urge one way or the other to have them. I also love my life right now and while sometimes I look back and wonder what could have been, I’m at the point I am and making the best of it. I feel more confident than I did in my 20s, both in my work and in my style choices. I’m a bit tired of people saying, “you should do this (as in get married, have a family, dress your age),” it leads to bad self esteem if you haven’t achieved those things, and I think women today have enough to worry about. just be you!
    Kim’s latest post: currently coveting: december inspirations.My Profile

  7. says

    It’s like my thoughts somehow translated into your blog text. I am the same age and feel exactly the same on all of the above. No kids; certainly don’t feel middle aged and I like that. Yes, we are technically middle age, but the definitions have shifted nowadays and it’s not what it used to be. Or at least, it doesn’t feel like it.
    Kiki’s latest post: 1 Pink Coat, 5 Ways To Wear ItMy Profile

  8. Bree says

    I absolutely LOVE this V! Thank you! I wish more women would speak up about these kind of things. (And I still have a few years before I reach ‘middle aged’ but when I get there, you can be my role model!) x

  9. says

    Such a relevant post V! The other day a gal commented on my blog…”Ohmygosh, you look soooo good for your old age! I wish I could look like that in my 30′s!” Oman I almost started crying and then I realized my readers are a mish-mash of teeny boppers, “young” adults, and yes, I guess middle aged peeps as well….Gotta put it all in perspective and take a step back to evaluate what does age matter now anyways right???

    It’s all about a healthy lifestyle…mind, body, and spirit and lemme tell ya lady- your mind is ALWAYS on fire, I’ve never seen you rock that body any hotter, and your spirit is what keeps me tuning in :D

    Hope you celebrated a fabulous Thanksgiving love…’tis the season! xoxo!

    xo-Julie
    Peace. Love. LOL!

    Haute Khuuture Blog

    • says

      Hey you, thanks for the sweet comment! It’s nice that age really DOESN’T matter nowadays. I think we’ve come a long way as a society, and especially as women, in being the best we can be, no matter what age we are. I love all the fashion and lifestyle rules that have been broken in the last couple of generations. We have more freedom than ever.

      Cheers, gorgeous! Looks like you are keeping busy with lots of parties and events!

  10. says

    Love this post and your boots but this one tiny part made me curl my lip a bit…”When you have a child, you are no longer really you. You’re a mom (or a dad), and if you’re a good one, you really should lose a lot of yourself in the process” Not really. You shouldn’t have to lose a lot of yourself. Being a mom made me find more of myself, not lose it and I am a great mom. JUSSSSSSSST saying. But seriously, where are those boots from?
    Yanira Garza’s latest post: Vintage RevivalMy Profile

  11. says

    What a fascinating post! I think a lot of our stereotypes of “middle age” have to do with advertising and the general distaste for aging in our society. I also think it has a lot to do with predominantly male advertisers and movie execs the keep spurring the stereotype that once you’re past your child bearing years, then you should be all types of miserable that you brought up.

    I don’t think this is the case at all. I think as Americans we just have an extremely effed up view of aging to say the least.

    It’s funny you said having kids would make you feel older, more grown up. I always picture myself as a young mom in skinny jeans one day. I guess I never thought about what i would look like when I’m 40-something with a teenager, haha. I know a lot of amazing, beautiful and vibrant women in their 50s and 60s who, yes, have children, and no, aren’t terrible miserable :)

    I’m 27 and the thing that freaks me out is that while I’m still a “twentysomething,” I’m no longer “early 20s.” That was an odd switch for me. As for kids, we’re waiting 3 years more because I know once you have kids it’s all about, well, the kids. My husband’s siblings all have kids and I see how much they have to sacrifice, and I just kind of shrug and say, “No, not ready to be that un-selfish. At least not yet!”

    Great post, Vahni!
    Courtney’s latest post: My Best Thrift Finds: Retro and Vintage DressesMy Profile

    • says

      Hi Courtney, thanks for chiming in here! There are many women who manage their kids and lives just beautifully…but it always comes down to this for me: “I see how much they have to sacrifice, and I just kind of shrug and say, ‘No, not ready to be that un-selfish. At least not yet!’”

      And don’t you worry about your 30s. My mid-to-late 30s were some of the best years of my life! You have so much to look forward to.

  12. says

    I just turned 50 and I still dont feel middle aged but I guess I am past that :))) I have a 17 year old son so looking at him daily is a good reminder of my age….but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I am a fashion designer and recently a new blogger (check out my blog at http://www.jacketsociety.com) and being in this industry you are constantly reminded of your age so you have to be pretty comfortable with it and realize that it is just a number. All the years and experiences make you who you are today and each phase has its rewards so embrace it. Things only get better as you get older :))
    Nora

    • says

      Hi Nora, thanks for your comment. I agree that all the years and experiences DO make you who you are. I guess that’s why when I turned 40, I was just fine with it. I was happy, healthy, in great shape, so why be sad about it? 41, 42, 43…each year is a blessing, and I want to make the most of each one.

      Good luck with your blog! It’s kind of crazy how the fashion blogging world has changed over the last three years or so. But that’s a whole other post! As long as you are having fun with the blog, it’s all good. :)

  13. says

    It’s like I said on Twitter, although I’m reaching 30 it’s madness to think that in another decade I’d be deemed ‘middle aged’. I think times have changed considerably and although technically we maybe older we’re not ‘old’ by any means. In fact you can easily argue that at that stage of your life you’re at your best. You’ve matured, are more confident in yourself, have a better income so you can enjoy life more.

    I think your teens and twenties are seen as the ‘fun’ years probably because traditionally people settling down when they hit 30 and supposedly get all serious. But that doesn’t mean you should stop having fun!

    I also think you look amazing in the photo you posted!
    Arash Mazinani’s latest post: Are You Craving Something Different?My Profile

    • says

      Thank you, Arash! I agree that this stage of life is far better than even 10 years ago…definitely more grounded, more confident, and with a better income! It does have its perks. ;)

      And hey, with men, seriously, y’all just get better with age. It’s true. I know you live a healthy lifestyle, and it will serve you well down the track. You’re so much further ahead on that than I was at 29, 30!

  14. says

    Hey V! I, too, am in that “middle-age” bracket, and I definitely don’t feel that way, and everyone is surprised when I tell them just how old I am. Back when I was “Thirty-Something”, I resigned to the fact that I would be the cool aunt and just travel, go to concerts and be a fashionista. Then I met my loving husband and then I was married with a child! But I feel much better than I did when I was in my teens or 20′s, and I feel that I look much better as well…because lost is the awkwardness of my misspent youth, and here to stay is the confidence I’ve learned to instill in myself over the years. I think this is part of the reason no one believes me when I proudly reveal my age when asked.

    I think we are the “new” middle-aged. Aren’t they saying now “40 is the new 30″? WE are living proof my dear!

    xoxo
    Cyrillynn
    Any Second Now’s latest post: BonLook Giveaway WINNER!My Profile

    • says

      Hey babe, I know we are the same (Depeche Mode) generation, so you are definitely feeling me!

      This is perfect, exactly how I feel: “…lost is the awkwardness of my misspent youth, and here to stay is the confidence I’ve learned to instill in myself over the years. I think this is part of the reason no one believes me when I proudly reveal my age when asked.”

      Yes, 40 IS the new 30, and we are rockin’ it! Woot!

      xo

  15. says

    isn’t it strange to be deemed middle age when you still feel young at heart? i think that phenom is the norm. when I asked my parents how they view themselves, they still see themselves as thirty/forty somethings not sixty somethings. it’s all perspective. as a middle aged lady myself, i sometimes feel my age (mostly when dealing with millineals). I still feel thirty. I hope I retain that idea of myself as i continue the creep toward old age.

    • says

      Jen, I have felt the same about dealing with millennials…they do make you feel your age…and frustrated!

      My parents are the same, very young at heart, very active in their late 60s and early 70s. They both still work, too. I think, like your parents, they are great role models as far as not hanging it up or acting “old” just because they’re hit certain age-related milestones. With parents like that, I’m pretty sure you will retain that idea of yourself, no worries.

  16. says

    Debra here from http://www.PrettyCoolWoman.com

    I’m thrilled—and amused—that my email inspired this great post and all the insightful comments! I guess after 30 years of psychiatric practice, I can’t help doing what I do—getting people to take a look at themselves!

    I’m struck that the term “middle-aged” brings up such negative associations in so many people, but I realize that we’re all practicing prejudice any time we try to characterize any group of people by their physical characteristics. People can be miserable at any age and beauty has everything to do with how we feel in our own skins and in our lives, no matter how old or young we are. And, since we gain wisdom and experience with age, our beauty grows as well, unless we allow ourselves to be consumed by our children or other stressors.

    I agree that many parents throw themselves too far into their children’s lives, losing themselves in the process. It’s not healthy to lose oneself in any relationship or life process, including parenting. Children learn best by example and they need parents who can be themselves and model healthy relationships and lifestyles.

    As a 55 year old physician, wife, and mother with an empty nest and newly post-menopausal body, I am anything but washed up or resentful. I’m half way to 110 and loving life more than ever as I launch a new business venture that’s all about supporting women at this stage of life!

    • says

      Oh, Debra, how your email has inspired not only this post, but so many comments! Thank you again! You are indeed skilled at getting people to take a look at themselves. We all should do it, way more often.

      You are right that “middle-aged” has a lot of negative associations. I don’t know why that is. Maybe because in the past, in the U.S., everyone pretty much followed the same path….men worked and women mothered, and there wasn’t much choice outside of that. Everyone seemed so serious and so old at 40 or 45 back then, but now, we’re a more sophisticated, more experienced society, and we’re having kids much later. We have so many options and have broken so many rules, especially as women, so I suppose “middle-aged” just seems like an antiquated term, in a sense.

      I wish more women in the U.S. had the same outlook as you. I think in the States we are far too youth-centric, and we don’t show older generations the respect they deserve. On that note, I can’t wait to read French Women Don’t Get Facelifts: The Secret of Aging with Style & Attitude by Mireille Guiliano (it’s out 12/24, I think?). American women need to stop looking at aging as a tragedy, and stop trying to dress and behave like 20-somethings when they are 60-somethings. You can be 60 and sexy and fabulous AND appropriate! That’s another post entirely…mutton dressed as lamb is never, ever sexy.

      Thanks for your comment, and again, best of luck on your new project!

  17. says

    Great post V. Very thought provoking. I waited to have my daughter until I was in my 30s for a lot of the reasons that you listed. Then I decided that I really did want to be a mom. I gave up those freedoms, but she is my greatest accomplishment, so it was the right decision for me. But it is truly a very personal decision that I wish more people really thought through before just having kids because it’s the thing to do. I loved hitting my 40s. I really felt that the peace, awareness, and security in my sense of self were the best me. Now that I’ve passed the mid-way point of this decade, I do see the signs of aging hitting, and I wish I had more time to hit the gym to stave off the middle age spread. But I think looking for ways to delay/diminish the signs of aging are one of the ways that I’m staying young. I’m always searching, trying new things, and exploring. Become stagnant, I think, leads to becoming old more than anything else.
    Gina’s latest post: When in FranceMy Profile

    • says

      Hi Gina, thanks for your comment…this is everything: “Become stagnant, I think, leads to becoming old more than anything else.”

      Amen, amen!

  18. Jody Johnson says

    Great post! My friend and I just had this discussion the other night. . . I mentioned something about being ‘middle aged’ and she said ‘WE ARE NOT!’ . . .ummm at 43, yes, we ARE. She is a grandmother and I, like you. are child free. And I definitely agree that being child free keeps you young!

    • says

      Hi Jody, thanks for your comment. Yeah, being child-free does keep you young. Some call it being selfish, but if you just don’t want kids, why on earth have them? Society isn’t raising them…you are. I love kids, especially from about six months to six years old. They are so sweet. Just never had the urge to commit to them full-time, you know? Since I’m a Cancer, I’m very, very maternal. Sometimes I think I have chosen to be child-free because I child that needs me may materialize in my life later. You never know.

  19. says

    I’m way over “middle age” having just turned 54. No one ever guesses my age and I attribute it to the fact that I had my daughter at 40 (actually just 13 days after turning 40!) after many years of miscarriages and disappointments. She’s been the one to keep me on my toes, now just turned 14, she loves that mum isn’t “typical” and boring like many others as I’ve always retained my sense of self. Her friends think I’m so “cool” which cracks me up being my age! Sure life changes when you have a kid, and the priorities change but it doesn’t mean you lose your true sense of self, unless that is your choice. I’ve found that as I age it gives a sense of freedom, you no longer feel like you have to impress, or whatever, you have learned that you can be yourself and if people don’t like it they can take a hike! So here’s to happily ageing and the freedom that comes with it! XXX Jet
    Jet aka Punk Glam Queen’s latest post: Happy Birthday to our DaughterMy Profile

    • says

      Hi Jet, yes, age does give you a sense of freedom, confidence that we, especially as women, don’t have in our younger years. Amen to that, right?!

      Thanks for your comment!

  20. says

    Great post! I must say, sometimes I forget my age. :-) I am well in my thirties and happier than ever! I have enjoyed them far better than my twenties … In my family though, culturally, age is not spoken as negative nor a stressful stone in one’s life. It is more looked at as a respectable positive. I mean my both my grandparents don’t even look 80, possibly 60, if that! But, I know what you mean, if middle-aged means all of what you mentioned … success, security, accomplishments, there’s nothing wrong with that! I am not thinking children at all for the moment, good Lord, we’re hardly ever home, now! haha. Sometimes, I wonder how the hell my parents did it running my siblings and I around for lessons, sport, and gymnastics, etc.

    Happy holidays to you V!
    FASHON TALES’s latest post: Blog Birthday: A Fruitful Fourth YearMy Profile

    • says

      Hi Madison, thanks for sharing. Yeah, I wonder all the time how my parents did it!

      I find it really refreshing that in your family age is not something to be stressed about. Actually, come to think of it, it’s not an issue in my family, either. My mom has never, ever been worried about her age or aging; she’s been a wonderful role model for me. I’m 1,000 times more vain and concerned about aging than she is, likely the product of my generation. But still, I don’t worry about it. As long as I am healthy, it’s all good!

  21. says

    Hey V, hope you and the hubster had a fantastic Xristouyenna! Loved this post. Regardless of the label ‘middle age’ or what it’s supposed to look like and sans kiddies, you look darn amazing girl! I know you take very good care of yourself (inside & out) & it shows.
    I hardly ever feel my age even though I’m now a mum to a 7 month old, but what I do feel is a little less of the old me. I’m not quite sure who the new me yet but that’s fine i’m evolving & adapting, the true me is still there though.
    I know some peeps say they lose their style mojo once becoming a mum but you only do that if you choose to and I know that priorities do change and style may not be as important anymore. Right now staying stylish isn’t so much of a challenge as keeping bits of food all over me now that the little one is on solids!! Lol.
    Becoming a mum is a life changing thing and like some of your peers I’m trying to balance everything whilst making it happen.

    With age, you definitely become a whole lot wiser in every way. I also remember when I was 20 I thought that 30 was old and I couldn’t imagine what I’d be like but now that i’m in my 30′s I don’t feel old at all, if anything I feel stronger & more confident.

    Thanks for an inspiring post koukla. I hope you have a wonderful New Year!!!
    x.o.x.o

    • says

      Hey doll, happy new year! Thanks for sharing your perspective, and for your comment. I bet you are loving your little one and you are probably juggling it all just fine. I will tell you that the confidence and fortitude you are feeling in your 30s just grow with every passing year, and hallelujah for that, right?!

      xo

  22. Serene says

    Hey Vahni! I am so late to the party on this one! So many great comments have been made! No one should feel pressured (by others or themselves) to have children that they really don’t want. To be honest, as I was growing up, I had so much responsibility raising my two younger sisters that I never thought I wanted to have kids. Ha! Now 4 kids later (twin boys almost 23, daughter 20 and son 16), it seems like a joke I would’ve ever felt that way!!

    It’s funny how we make “youth” the goal. Staying young. Looking young. Acting young. I think it’s because we equate energy, vitality, imagination and curiosity with being young. I’d love to see “young” just defined by a number of years and not an attitude. Frankly, the older my mother got, the more fun she was. My gorgeous aunt who is on the cusp of 60 is more intriguing now than ever before. My sister, who just turned 50, is trying so many things for the first time, including traveling to Germany to meet her natural mother for the very first time! And I’ve seen soooooo many women over 40 in the gym running circles around 20 something women. I think aging is simply a maturation process…..apropos that it’s often compared to wine….the aging just softens the rough edges and bring the “self” into focus more.

    For me, the kids thing is a nonissue. It’s a frame of mind more than anything else. Yes, they require a LOT of energy. But they bring so many new things into our lives as well. And the beautiful thing is, they don’t have to be yours to do it! Being around young kids and teens, is a mutually beneficial relationship. We need them to remind us of what it was like to be fearless and they need us to teach them how to get some focus and direction (and MOSTLY to hopefully learn from our mistakes!).

    You, Vahni, look absolutely gorgeous! And interestingly, I find myself excited to read your posts as they pop up on my feed more now than 3 years ago. Which absolutely must mean that you are just getting more and more interesting as you ascend the years! Happy New Years to you!

    Serene

    • says

      Serene, thank you! What can I say? Another insightful and lovely comment. I am so flattered and thankful for the conversation. And it’s great to know that three years on, you are still interested in reading my posts. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  23. says

    I’m just getting around to reading this, albeit a month late, and am almost in the same basket. I’m 40 this year, no kids, by circumstance not choice as there is no man to have them with, and certainly don’t feel middle aged. If women live to the ripe old age of 100 or more, then “middle” would be 50 plus. So 40/41 is hardly middle aged.

    Now when they say you’re only as old as you feel, and most of us feel like we’re still in our early twenties, then I’d say there’s no such thing as mentally old. Physically old, god yes, we all know we physically age, but mentally, nope, no “middle aged gal” here.
    Jewel Divas Style’s latest post: TREASURE TROVE: Brand new pieces for the brand new year!My Profile

  24. says

    A couple of years ago, my mother referred to herself as middle-aged, then stopped in semi-horror and said, “Wait, I guess I’m past that.” I was like, “Yeah, I am the one who is middle-aged!” Then I skipped around her singing, “I’m middle-aaaaged, I’m middle-aaaged.” Made her feel young again to have such an immature daughter.

    BTW, I’ve got five years on you, young lady!
    WendyB’s latest post: Skylar Grey’s Necklace and New Song, and My Cher MemoriesMy Profile

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