Have you ever poured your heart out in the comments on a post, and returned to it repeatedly to see if the blogger responded…only to learn that you were basically ignored?
Yeah, me too. Kinda hurts.
I realize that some bloggers get hundreds of comments on a post, and acknowledging all of them is impossible. There are times that even I can’t respond to all my commenters—and my numbers are pretty modest. But I do try to respond to everyone at least once out of every few times they comment. As a reader, I know I like it when I am acknowledged, and as a writer, I want commenters to know that I appreciate the time they’ve taken to share their thoughts on a post, especially when those thoughts are lengthy. When I’ve commented multiple times on a blog and my comment love is not reciprocated, I either don’t comment again (I just lurk), or I don’t go back to the blog at all. I’m sure I’m not the only one.
Genuine, thoughtful comments deserve a genuine, thoughtful reply.
via Google Images
Here on G&G, topics run the gamut, because this blog is all about what I think and what I’ve experienced, beyond just fashion. While I have received many thoughtful comments on the subject of fashion, it is usually my more controversial or “real-life” posts that get the most meaningful and exciting comments. As important as fashion is (uh, yes it IS important), let’s face it—with fashion posts, comments are generally I like it/I don’t like it, and there’s not a lot to be said to that in response.
But when you write about a more serious subject and you get serious comments, do not discount the importance of your response. Words well-strung—and even words that carry a simply-stated message—have a certain gravitas. Gravitas that can be life-altering, I kid you not.
Rather than blather on about it, I’ll just let you read this comment excerpt from my Getting Over Homesickness page:
Dean November 27, 2012
V @gritandglamour November 27, 2012
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Dean, I can feel the anguish behind your comment. I am so sorry that you feel so badly and that a job loss is what forced your move. Being homesick on top of all the stress you must feel totally SUCKS. Keeping the focus on one day at a time, knowing you WILL eventually get back to Omaha is indeed challenging, I’m sure. All I can say is write down exactly what you want. For some reason, I find when I write things down, they almost always come to fruition, even when I don’t have any idea how. And keep working your network in Omaha. I bet as soon as we flip into 2013 and everyone has a fresh budget, there will be more hiring. Just keep reminding yourself (and the universe) that this is TEMPORARY!
Please let me know how you are. I bet you’ll be back home with your family early next year.
Dean January 21, 2013
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I wrote a comment on November 27 that I had been let go of a former position I held for 14 years and took a position in Maryland, expressing my anguish the despair I felt because of my homesickness. You told me to write down what I wanted because I was making a declaration to the universe and that for some reason writing it down seemed to get you what you wanted most of the time.
I did what you suggested, stating that I choose a new job in Omaha by January 15 without anything in the hopper at that time. Long story short is that I was offered a new job on January 18, and accepted it the next day. Conincidence? Maybe, but I prefer to think that God was working on behalf and that writing down one’s choices made a difference. I’m giving my notice tomorrow in MD and then will be driving back to my home. Thanks for listening and responding back to me. It really helped.
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ER, can you say GOOSEBUMPS? I sure got them when I read Dean’s comment yesterday. That comment is just one of many that remind me why I do take the time to reply back to both regular readers and complete strangers.
Comments may seem like they are only words on a screen, but they aren’t just words on a screen. THAT is why commenting and being mindful of your words and online interactions is so important; your words have the power to lift someone up in their darkest hour, or be the final nail in the coffin.
Coincidentally, my unfortunate friend in plagiarism victimization, B of Beautifully Invisible, posted on the power of words the same day Dean’s comment came in. You should read A Year Later: How Being Plagiarized Caused Me To Lose My Voice for another testimonial about the power of words and blog commenting. Sharing your opinion or a critique is very different from a personal attack. You can respectfully disagree with diplomacy and tact.
Don’t ever forget that there is a REAL person behind the blog, and a REAL person behind the comment. Be kind, or be silent.
I was let go from a job of 14 years in Omaha because of a new CEO. To make ends meet for my family, I’ve taken a position in Baltimore so cash flow is not disrupted. My wife and I talked about this move and felt it was best for our family at the time, but I am so homesick and sad, that I go back to my hotel room and weep nearly every night. I am actively searching for new positions back in Omaha, but until that happens, I’m stuck in a place I don’t like, and whose culture is totally different than my former reality. It’s not a foreign country, but it might as well be since cultural differences abound between the east coast and midwest. I’m going through the bargaining stage of grief at this point, promising God anything to get back to the place I love, and I’m also taking anti anxiety medicine to deal with the lows. Taking one day at a time makes the process not seem so overwhelming, but keeping that focus can be a challenge sometimes.