10 Tips for Managing Homesickness

This post is a bit of a departure from my typical fashion- or blog-oriented posts, but the subject was actually the catalyst that propelled G&G to where it is today. Let me explain.

Many of you know that a few years ago, I lived in Sydney, Australia, for about a year. I failed miserably at expat life and was gripped by homesickness so ferocious it actually manifested itself on the outside as well as inside. (Weight loss, that’s cool, but ugh—HAIR LOSS? WTF?). While navigating expat life, and then repatriating, I put all my energy into this blog. G&G was my outlet, my friend, and my entire focus; naturally, after that experience, I felt compelled to create a few pages about expat life and homesickness that I hoped would help others in some small way.

Over the years, I’ve gotten many comments (and pleas) from others dealing with the same issues. Well, except the hair loss—though I am happy to report it grew back, thank God. Knowing my words have helped others feel a little less alone has been so rewarding.

So why am I posting about homesickness, now?

In the past few weeks, I’ve had a spate of comments from people all over the world who are struggling with homesickness. I suppose that’s because it’s summer for half the earth, and that’s when a lot of moving happens, or it’s the universe telling me to revisit this subject because, frankly, there’s not a lot of helpful info out there. Whether you’re moving across the world for love, or across your own country for a job or college, homesickness my get the better of you. So I hope you will consider G&G a resource if it strikes.

Since I wrote Getting Over Homesickness, a lot has changed in terms of technology, and one other critical thing happened: my husband and I swapped homesickness roles. He moved to the U.S. to join me, and suddenly I was the one coping with someone experiencing homesickness—which means I can cover the issue from both sides of the coin, so-to-speak.

Anyway, because I’ve had several comments lately, I thought it would be a great time to revisit the subject.  The fashion posts will reappear again soon, I promise. 🙂

Homesickness is like adult separation anxiety.

Homesickness sucks. Suh-hucks. It makes you depressed and morose and almost unrecognizable to yourself.

It’s a kind of separation anxiety not limited to just those under 18, and ” isn’t necessarily about home…neither is it exactly an illness,” Derrick Ho writes in Homesickness isn’t really about ‘home’. Ho continues:

Instead, it stems from our instinctive need for love, protection and security — feelings and qualities usually associated with home, said Josh Klapow, a clinical psychologist and associate professor at the University of Alabama’s School of Public Health. When these qualities aren’t present in a new environment, we begin to long for them — and hence home.

“You’re not literally just missing your house. You’re missing what’s normal, what is routine, the larger sense of social space, because those are the things that help us survive,” Klapow said.

Anyone going through homesickness knows the nature of the beast: one minute you’re smiling, the next you’re standing in the grocery aisle sobbing because they don’t have your favorite cereal. It’s not the cereal. It’s the lack of “normal” everywhere you turn.

[infobox title=’UPDATE: February 2015′]I hope the tips below help, but if you’re looking to connect with others who are experiencing homesickness, hop over to the The Forum and check out the Expat Life and Homesickness topic! It’s a great place to talk about your feelings and discover ways to manage homesickness.[/infobox]

10 Things You Can Do to Manage Homesickness

1. Research the hell out of it.
Just like studying for a test, it’s a lot easier to deal with the symptoms of homesickness when you recognize them. Know the stages…you’ll go through all of them before seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. See my Getting Over Homesickness for resources or grab a book on the subject from Amazon.

2. Get yourself a smartphone.
Most people have them these days, but if you don’t, now is the time to learn to use one. First, learning to use new technology and applications channels your mind and makes you more technically savvy. Second, it’s the ultimate expat tool—keeping you connected with people at home through email, Facebook, and Instagram; allowing you to Skype without a computer; providing you with subway maps or bus routes, and more.

3. Start a blog or read one that deals with expat life or homesickness.
Seriously. The act of writing your feelings is very cathartic and it’s a constructive way to recognize symptoms or triggers. And connecting with others who understand what you are going through is huge. It makes you realize everything you are doing, thinking, and feeling is normal. With all the blogs in the world, I’m sure there’s a blogger in the very city you are in that can offer you some great advice;  Expat Blog is a super resource. IAmExpat is aimed at expats in the Netherlands but has lots of info that’s helpful for any expat.

4. Start working, volunteering, or school ASAP.
Having a place to go, a schedule to follow, and obligations to meet re-focuses your mind on daily tasks instead of what you are missing. It forces you to go out there and interact with others. And maybe make some new friends! If you can’t work, there is always volunteering, which can be even more helpful. When you focus on helping others, you don’t focus on your problems at all!

5. Schedule regular Skype or Facetime video calls with your friends and family.
If there is a time difference, this is especially important. Find a good time and put the calls on your calendar so you have something to look forward to. Seeing your peeps from back home is fun, but hearing them also gives you that little slice of “normal” you crave. I missed Southern accents terribly when I was in Oz! And when you use Skype or Facetime, it’s totally free.

6. Stream your favorite TV shows or radio programs from home.
Almost everything is available online now. My husband has noted that being able to stream Triple J or watch Aussie TV programs helps him cope, especially on those days when he’s missing home. Hearing the news in your hometown, knowing what they are talking about, hearing accents—again—it’s a little bit of the “normal” your head needs to feel OK. There are all kinds of phone and computer apps available to help you snag that signal. Just Google and you’ll see!

7. Resolve to discover one new thing daily.
Maybe it’s a new restaurant or shopping center. Or ordering coffee in the local language or vernacular. Or taking the bus or the train. Of course, be careful, and venture out slowly, but do.

I remember the first time I took the train from Crounlla to Bondi Junction by myself. I had no idea what to expect but I knew all the signs were in English, so I could find my way. I made it there and back with no problems. That little adventure not only distracted me (lots of new things to see and learn about), it made me feel good about myself. I did it! Little victories.

8. Take a walk.
Getting outside connects you with nature and your new environment. The birds and trees might be different. It might help you practice looking the other direction before crossing the street. A walk keeps you occupied mentally and physically as you learn to navigate and while absorbing your new surroundings. Plus, fresh air, exercise, and time outside your four walls is good for you. I’ve never gone out on a walk and felt worse than when I left. Never.

9. Exercise.
If you can only manage or afford a brisk walk or jog outside, then go for it. If you can work out at home or in a gym, do it. Exercise is a major stress reliever, aside from being great for your body. There is really no viable “I can’t” excuse. The Internet is full of fitness videos tailored to pregnant woman, seniors, the disabled, injured, and healthy. If you don’t have an Internet connection, try to get to a library. I guarantee there is something there that can help you.

10. Read.
Sometimes diving into a steamy novel (like Sylvia Day’s Bared to You, or the 50 Shades of Gray trilogy) is a great way to escape feelings of homesickness. Reading the local paper is also helpful, not only because you learn more about your new city, but you could come across an ad or article that propels you in a positive new direction. Your recreational reading can even be educational—learning the language of your new country if it’s not your native tongue. There are so many books, magazines, blogs, papers, etc., that the entertainment and learning possibilities are endless!

Have you ever experienced homesickness? If so, please share your tips for managing it!


  1. Fantastic post, V! As someone who likes to live in other countries every now and again, I’ve definitely experienced homesickness. Even now – just across the country from my mother – I have bouts of it. One thing that’s essential for me is staying in touch, not just about major life events but just little stuff. When I was living in Mexico, I’d call my mom just to tell her a silly story about my cat. It made me feel closer…if that makes any sense. 😉 Oh, and whenever I started feeling down, I’d have a margarita, look at the beach before me, and remind myself that I made that choice…and I was happy with it!

    1. Thanks, Santina! I think a LOT of people never expect homesickness when they’re moving across their country, but it’s very common. As you did, keeping the positives in mind, staying in the moment helps when you’re missing home.

    2. Dear V, I hope you still read this comments, I am a 25y that recently finished a 2 y master degree abroad (two different countries).
      Since really young I struggle with the dilema of feeling bad for being far from home and at same time always wanted to travel and experience to live abroad. I started expat experiences since early adulthood but despite all my experience abroad I still super anxious when I live abroad. I feel that I am unhappy and only feel better when returning back to my country of origin. At this point I know my career can develop better abroad because my homecountry do not focus on the research that I got expert on. My option to stay is changing my career and get no advantage of my recent master studies.
      I really feel sad with this because i tried hard to overcome the unhapiness that i feel abroad…

  2. Although I’ve never been an expat, I must say that I would love it. I adoooore travelling and discoverring new places and new kind of living, but I’m sure that I would miss my family so much. But with the new techno adavnces is not the same than before! I have my brother-in-law living in Argentina (we live at Barcelona) and we chit chat each day for free! Then, although you cannot feel his embrace, we still have the same contact that if he was here…
    kisses from Barcelona and congrats for your post!

    1. MB~

      Thanks for your comment. You’re right…technology these days is amazing and so important for staying connected. I can’t fathom all those people (like my mom), who just up-and-moved and the best they could hope for was a phone call every now and then.

  3. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, experiences and advice on this topic… It is funny, you can love becoming an expat (or generally moving away from familiarity), while in the same breathe being stricken with homesickness. You know my feelings on this….

    1. I know! Crazy. I thought the same thing about Oz. So excited to start a new life, but still so depressed about being so far from home.

      Hope you’re faring better, my dear!

  4. Always so awesome, V! 🙂 I am so glad I found your blog! It’s really helped on my move over to Australia. Thought about you when I was in David Jones (again) for lunch the other day, and sent some good wishes your way! Keep it up! Cheers, Diana

    1. Thanks, Diana! I’m glad you found me and I appreciate your readership and ALL your comments! Especially the one on that Americanization post. Glad to know I wasn’t just being overly sensitive about the way Oz bags the USA and Americans in the media. Thanks for confirming I’m not crazy!

      And that’s funny about David Jones…that place was my sanctuary! Thanks for the good wishes and sweet thoughts. Hope you are doing well.

      Jumping over to read your latest.

  5. I liked reading this post and you give a lot of great tips. Though I’ve never moved to another country, I did (and still do sometimes!) get homesick since leaving my home state NYC. There I lived in practically in the same house, grew up with the same friends, and surrounded by all of my family. When I left, it was very abrupt and since then I was constantly bouncing around to different states and cities. Even though it’s been over ten years since I lived there, there are times where I really miss it so I always try to visit at least once every few years. I find it helps me find my center again because that will always be home to me and I find that really helps!

    1. Hi MJ…thanks babe! I hear the same thing over and over…we can often adjust to new places, but even years later that yearning for “home” sneaks in. It’s such a blessing when you can visit home. One to be counted, for sure.

  6. Well I’ve been an expat a few times over the years and honestly never once felt homesick. I love travel too much, its essential to my well-being. However, when we moved across the Mason-Dixon line from NYC, I was brutally stricken! As was my cat who was so tuned into me that she developed the hair loss you mentioned! So go figure, within my own country I never expected it, but I also never expected what I encountered… it wasn’t pleasant, but it made me appreciate the diversity and tolerance of NYC much more, as well as realise if I’m to live in the US I have to be within close proximity of NYC. XXX Suzanne

    1. Interesting…and yet I’m not surprised! Sometimes I think we can compartmentalize and deal with the shock of moving overseas because it is so different. It’s like an extended holiday. But being on home turf, yet so far away? Gets to quite a few people.

      The one thing homesickness of any sort is good for, however, is making us appreciate how good we’ve had it.

      Thanks for your comment, love. And while NYC is not my thing, if I moved to a podunk town from my reasonably-sized city, I’d go totally NUTS. So I get ya.

  7. Hi, this is a great post, I’m so pleased you wrote it! I have recently moved to India with my husband for his job. It’s very different over here and we find our moods constantly swinging from ‘wow, isn’t it amazing that we actually live here’ to ‘OMG, this is so frustrating, I need some normality!’ I’ve had to leave my styling business behind and am unable to work over here so that has been a real challenge. It sounds great right? But it’s SO hard. I already do a few things on your list (my blog has been an awesome things to put my energy into and I start volunteering next month) but I intend to do more…it’s only me that can make it work for me out here. Thanks for sharing this, Niki xx

  8. I ‘ve never experienced the expat level of homesickness, but my husband and I relocated from Florida to Tennessee over 2 years ago, and that was rough! I have always been more of an introvert, and that experience forced me to break out of my shell and go for it. Great advice V!

  9. Loved this post V – all the tips are very useful to anyone adjusting to a new life abroad.
    I found it really pleasant relocating to Aus/Sydney – it helped to have some sort of routine – work/friends etc, but I found the moving to a country speaking a completely different language more of a challenge. I definitely felt more isolated in my first 6 months of living in Greece, as pretty much everything was different (it’s not the same as going to the islands for a holiday y’know?!) – day to day life was different, the system or lack of was incomprehensible at first, running errands a mission (2-3hr post office or bank queues anyone?) & not being able to let your personality come through in a different lingo was tricky to the point of frustrating. A lot has changed since then though, phew! Now I just rattle on in my broken Greek!
    Anyhoos, I love What’s app on my phone – it keeps me connecting to family all over the globe – plus sending sms/photos are free in real time! What’s not to love?!
    Big hugs to ya love!

  10. Excellent post! After living in Japan I formed new skills to try and be sociable, and found that it’s best to NEVER say no if you’re invited out somewhere. Living in Germany now has its own difficulties but it’s much easier now I’m an expat a second time round.

  11. Great post Vahni – as an Aussie living in London totally relate – but strangely I get homesick for Spain too and homesick now for London when I’m away for too long! I’ve found “home” whatever that is (it’s not just a place but a sense of belonging to me) in different places. What I do miss most about Australia is my family – that’s the big heartstring tug for me – and although I know it will never go away entirely Skype has made a big difference in alleviating the pain of that!

  12. I am a German living in the UK for 13 years now and I just spent 5 months in Brussels (I am leaving in 1 hour!), away from my husband who stayed back in Scotland. I didn’t get too homesick until about a week ago, when I knew I was about to leave and really let myself feel how I’m missing everyone. My tip is to really involve yourself in the life of the new place and keep yourself as busy as possible, even if you feel a bit mopey it’s good to go out and meet people.

  13. Hey V,

    I’m always homesick when I’m alone in the holiday.
    my friend send me sms and tell me how much he missed me.
    I find your tips very useful and helpful.
    I also like your site and your posts about fashion and lifestyle.
    keep it up and have fun.

    best wishes and greetings from germany
    have an awesome sunday 🙂


  14. I definitely know how this feels. I’ve moved most of my life as a military child, so for me home is where my family and loved ones are. These are great tips, and I’ve done some of these myself, I often use Skype since most of my family is dispersed throughout the world. So, for holidays it’s usually a huge event for us to come together! I try to also meet up in-between travelling for work sometimes, if only a day or several hours to say hello when there’s long layovers, but that’s a bit chaotic in itself due to flight exhaustion! lol. Have a great week V! -xo

  15. Homesickness has ambushed me 24years after emigrating to Australia from England . not helped by living in one of the dullest dryest brownest states . WA has a special talent to take anywhere lovely and deface it with atrocious looking hoardings or buildings . It has its beauty spots but living in the suburbs of Perth is deadly . But my kids and grandkids are here and my husband wont fly anywhere so i am more or less stuck . Feeling particularly bad this week

    1. Lynn~

      Sorry for the delayed response…I do hope that this week you are feeling better. I met another expat via this blog who is also in Perth, originally from Canada. So you are not alone there in your feelings! Since you are there permanently, my advice is to try to find an expat Meet Up group…or start one! A friend of mine who has lived overseas in a couple different countries told me it was her savior when she went from the U.S. to South America.

      Good luck, stay busy!

  16. I’m home sick… it hurts so bad… it’s absolutely the worst thing I’ve ever gotten myself into… I’ve never had more anxiety in my life and I’ve only been away for 2 nights.. I work early and I can never sleep… past 4 days I’ve only gotten about 5 hours sleep all together… I’m starting to look like crap and my eyes are so red… looks like I’m a druggy lol… I’m a 22 year old male and I broke down in the bathroom and actually cried my eyes out like a baby for about 30 mins and I haven’t cried in such a long time.. not even at a funeral… it takes a ton for me to break down but this beast really got me and it’s not over I still have 19 days to go… I’m in NJ and I’m from St.Louis… I have no idea where I’ll be driving next but I really really wish it was home… I’m trying my hardest to tough this out… trying to stay calm and trying to just take a breath and find out who I am again…. this is so scary… really opens your eyes to a ton of things… I don’t know what I got myself into… This is so hard… what I do is stay up and talk to friends read blogs and bond… this blog helped me out.. made me feel not so alone at the loneliest time of my life… I know there’s other suffering from this as I type… and I know some people may never ever be able to return home… I’m glad I will here in a few weeks and boy am I going to enjoy it!

    1. Eric, sorry to read that you are so sad and missing home. It can really sneak up on you and turn you into a crying mess. But that’s OK! It’s good to get it out. And yes, it DOES make you really appreciate what you’ve taken for granted at home.

      Glad you found some solace in reading this post, knowing that others do feel the same. Sounds like you may be a truck driver, which I imagine is hard, always being on the go. Try to keep it in perspective, knowing that you only have a little over two weeks to go. Blog reading is therapeutic…while you’re at the computer, may I suggest that you Google tips for relaxation? You have to sleep! It’s critical to your health.

      I always do what my mom used to call the “Relax Game,” and it has never failed me. Basically, you climb into bed, get comfortable, then starting with your toes, you say in your head:

      Toes, relax.
      Arches, relax.
      Ankles, relax.
      Feet, relax…

      Just keep working your way up your body…I’ve never gotten up to my neck…I always fall asleep before that! My other rule with that game is once I’ve “relaxed” a body part, I’m not allowed to move it. I swear it works every time, no matter how wired I am.

      Good luck, hang in there!

  17. It MIGHT help to picture yourself home along the lines of one soon i will be having a coffee at my local cafe or back in my own bed etc. sometimes the brain will react as tho it has what it wants . Photos can be what scientists call a social snack . main thing is that although you feel so alone a lot of people are going through the same thing . the deadly thing about loeliness is that it makes us feel as if we are the only one to feel that bad . When you do get home you will probably see it as you never have before and will love all the things you took for granted . If you have time get into a good book recently I could not put down the Snowman by Jo Nesbo crime not my normal cup of tea at all . But absorbing . Meanwhile love the one you’re with as the song says , not literally but if you make an effort to brighten someones day even at the check out that may have a heartening effect . I can recommend a great online advent calender if you want to count down the days . Its childish but beautifully done far beyond electronic greetings cards . Then there’s audio books [ itunes ] and podcasts if you have an ipod . BBC radio 4 has some interesting radio dramas . Too much advice but I am a mum of 3 boys so its a habit
    All the very best and i do hope you are feeling a lot better very soon . Lynn

  18. I went to college 3,000 miles from home. Plugging into the campus and finding a social network in your new location is key. You can’t just think about your home, that will make you miserable. You need to find a reason for happiness where you are.

  19. Hi, I came across this post by accident, I was trying to find ways of dealing with feelings of homesickness, as I moved to Uni last september, but have found it particularly hard recently after coming back to Uni after the Christmas holidays. Anyway your post really helped, so much so that I found myself exploring your blog even further, until eventually I realised I was no longer thinking about home, but instead what you write about, it has been a great and interesting distraction, so thank you, and I shall continue to read 🙂 xx

    1. Ella, what a sweet comment! Thank you!

      I am glad you found my tips helpful, and I do hope you feel better. I’m sure once your classes get going again, things will look up. Try to stay busy. You’re at the halfway mark for the year, and you should be proud of that!

      I am so appreciative of my readers, even the ones who are only here temporarily. It’s always nice, however, when someone decides to come back. 🙂

      Thanks again for your comment!

  20. I left London to live in Somerset 14 months ago and although I have been lucky enough to make some amazing friends I still feel desperately sad and cry most days. I can’t even pinpoint what I miss…I just know that I want to go home. My children 13, 9 and 5) have all settled and are happy and dont understand why I’m not happy too. I don’t even understand 🙁 !!! I feel like my life is in limbo and that all my kids see is an unhappy mummy :'( . My 5 year old asked his dad the other week ” when is the wicji witch gonna take the spell away and make mummy happy again” . That brought me out of it briefly but now for no apparent reason I’ve taken 100 steps back again. Any advice would be hugely appreciated. Shld I just go home ( we have a house in London currently rented out) help please…cath x

    1. Hi Cathy, so sorry to read that you are feeling so despondent. I do know the feeling. Unfortunately, homesickness takes a LONG time for most people to overcome. My hubby is currently in his third year here in the U.S., and it still hits him from time-to-time.

      If you did not read through the comments on this post, I encourage you to: http://www.gritandglamour.com/archive/expat-stuff/getting-over-homesickness/

      Many people have expressed the same feelings of desperation and longing, and I’ve tried to offer tips and advice as best as I could. I’m hoping that you won’t feel so alone by reading the comments of others, and that my replies will give you some pointers on dealing with your situation, and steps your can take to make it better.

      I do hope this passes and would love for you to let me know how you are. My best to you! Hang in there. It really does get better.

  21. Thank you for this post. I’m newly transplanted from Kansas to Texas. I have severe anxiety and this huge move is intimidating, scary, and UNCOMFORTABLE. I know it will be worth it in the end but the initial homesickness is always the worst. Thanks again for the post it helped to remind me that I will, in time, feel like my normal old self.

  22. Thank you for this article! It was really helpful. I could never imagine being an expat because I get homesick when I go to college and it’s only 2 hours away. Your article made me feel better. Before, I felt like such a baby

    1. Aw, super, Molly! We all handle being away from home very differently. I’ll be the first to admit I did not handle it well. But it really doesn’t matter how far you are from home or how long you’ve been away; all that matters is YOUR happiness, so make the right decision for you!

  23. I recently graduated from college, moved out from home finally to accept a new job in another city. I’m only 2.5-3 hours away but it feels like tons more. My homesickness only comes when my dad leaves me from visiting or I leave him. Thank you for your blog and your posts. It’s comforting to know it’s normal and that I’m not just super emotional. <3

  24. Not sure if anyone will read this since I’m posting so late…
    As someone who is having an extremely hard coping with homesickness I enjoyed your article. Its been 2 weeks since I left home to study abroad in China for a semester, and all I think about is giving up and going home (even if it would seriously mess up other parts of my life and it already cost so much to get here). There are so many things I miss, and I just have to keep telling myself its not permanent but 3 1/2 months feels so long! I miss so many things about home, everything seems backwards. Also one thing that hurts more than anything else, which wasn’t really mentioned in your article was long distance relationships. Sure its hard to be away from my friends and family, but I am having so much trouble trying to stay strong while I’m away from my loved one. Any advice for that? Either way, it was a great article and hopefully things will get better with time but for now I am very depressed and regretting coming here 🙁

    1. J, thank you for your comment. I’m away from my computer and responding via iPhone at the moment, so this is a shorter response than I’d like it to be, but I wanted to get back to you ASAP.

      Your feelings are totally normal, and I so know that feeling of regret. Since this is a temporary move, my advice to you is to first read the comments and my responses on this post, and my Getting Over Homesickness post (there’s a link in the post above). A lot of exchange students feel the same, and I hope you may find a different and helpful perspective in that dialogue.

      I wish you all the very best, and hope that once you get into classes and a study schedule, you won’t feel so sad and alone. I’m pretty sure that you will feel so much better after school gets going. Remember, this is a temporary opportunity, but it’s a remarkable one! Make the most if it. I promise the end of the semester will be here before you know it!

      Please come back and let me know how you are. And remember: you are not alone.

  25. I am suffering from severe homesickness too. I moved from the UK to Nova Scotia in Canada five months ago and at first it was great. I moved here to be with the man I cared about very much and now this has not worked out and he is no longer talking to me, I feel all alone and I am struggling. I have tried the meet up groups and getting out, but I still miss family. I thought if I gave it a bit longer it would get easier, but it is just getting worse. I love this place, it is so beautiful and the people are friendly, but nothing can make up for being so far away from my family. I have just been offered a job here, only part time temporary, but this has brought on so much anxiety as I know if I take it I won’t get home for Christmas and the thought of not being with my family at Christmas is tearing me apart. I skype them every week and it helps a bit, but I am still struggling being 3000 miles away on my own. I have a job and home to go back to, luckily, and I am seriously thinking of just giving it all up and going back home, to what I know. I feel like a failure. Homesickness sucks big time. I am a 40 year old woman and should be able to cope, but am struggling really bad right now. I go for walks and run, which helps a bit but again I just want to see my family in the flesh…..

    1. Hi Emma, so sorry you are feeling so sad. I am not surprised you are feeling lonely and are struggling…you’re still in the early (and most difficult) stages of homesickness AND you’re dealing with a breakup! You shouldn’t really be surprised that you feel badly either. It’s hard enough to cope with one or the other, but both? That’s extra tough.

      I want you to realize that you are not alone, even if you feel like you are. Your feelings are completely normal, and it sounds like you have really continued to try to give it your best shot, even with the failed relationship. That, my dear, is NOT QUITTING! No matter what you decide, you must not consider any aspect of putting it all on the line and moving overseas and giving it a try a failure. You have given it your best shot.

      So. Now, the question you must ask yourself:

      Is what I am getting here (still) worth the sacrifice of being away from my family and friends and job back home?

      If your answer is no, simply put plans in motion to go back to the UK. There is no shame in that. You tried, and if there isn’t a man there holding your hand through this (especially when you left it all behind for him), and you can’t see a brilliant opportunity for you on the horizon, then by all means, GO!

      If your answer is yes, then build on that. Take the job, for it is a stepping stone to something or someone else. Give yourself a deadline to make it work: 60 days, and if things aren’t way better, get yourself home for Christmas.

      We only have one life to live, and only YOU can decide what is best for you. What anyone else thinks is irrelevant. Go with your gut, your heart. And whether you go home in 10 days, 60 days, or next year, you will know that you gave it your all, and you will grow from the experience, I promise you.

      Hope you are feeling better. Please drop me a line and let me know what you decide to do!

      Good luck! 🙂

  26. Hi there!

    I REALLY appreciate this post. I’m currently living in Europe with my European husband and the past month has been miserable. I have an OK job (teaching) but the pay is horrible and the job is stressful. People here are SO much different (depressed/unhappy) and even though I’ve traveled here many times before, this time it is the absolute worse. My husband doesn’t really want to move back to the US and it has caused a lot of division between us. We’ve been traveling back & forth to each other for almost 3 years (the past year we married & lived in the US) and now I feel that we have reached a point where we need to decide which country we will live in.

    I don’t know what I’ll do if we can’t agree on what country to live in. Do I sacrifice the comforts of my home country? Or do I suck it up and try to make the best out of it here? I’m only in my early twenty’s and I know I have a full life ahead. But of course, I want my husband, the love of my life, to be in it!

    Thank you for your response in advance!

    1. Hi Jen, I am so sorry for the situation you are in. I know it all too well.

      When I moved to Australia, I was in a similar predicament: I moved for him, totally my own choice, voluntarily. I went there, married him, and went back and forth for a year, bouncing between the States and Sydney. I was so incredibly homesick, and I just felt like everything was working against me there, to the point that when I left the last time, I expected that my husband would file for divorce. I wasn’t me there…the homesickness made me feel depressed, desperate, and volatile. I couldn’t find a job, and I had left a very, very good professional career in the U.S. I was stressed financially and emotionally; it brought out the worst in both of us. So I left. I had to go, and my husband knew he had to let me go.

      Eventually, he decided he wanted to move to the States, on his own, without me asking. He said he would give it a try, and three years later, that’s what he’s still doing. While we’ve had our differences, being apart for eight months while his visa paperwork processed made us realize how much we wanted to be together. It’s been a hard road, but now we are flourishing. And we are happy. Doesn’t mean HE doesn’t get hit with homesickness now and then…it’s just a lot less often.

      BUT, I left knowing in my heart that it was probably over. And ultimately, you have to follow your heart, even if that means going back to the U.S. without him. You can’t spend every day feeling awful, and sometimes the temporary hurt and pain is a better trade off than a lifetime of it. Only you can decide how much you can or can’t take, and it sounds like you’ve really tried hard to make it work. I’m not advocating divorce or telling you that’s what you should do. I’m just saying don’t make yourself sick over it.

      You never know what he may decide if you decide you have to go back, and you go. Sometimes distance provides clarity. Do what you need to do, and never feel guilty about it, because you left your home and moved there and you tried. That takes tremendous courage. You gave it your best shot. No matter what happens, you should always remember that!

      I wish you well, my dear. I truly know how sad you feel, and I wish you Godspeed and peace. Please come back and let me know how you are.

    2. Thank you for your post! I totally feel you. I moved to Germany two years ago to be with my now husband. I’m also teaching which is fun when I’m actually in a lesson, but since having our fist daughter I’m not working so much. I just keep getting more and more depressed and lonley and I don’t understand it. It seems I have “everything” but I just hate it here. Eddi, like your husband, has no desire to go back to the US but I don’t want to be here. I don’t want our kids to grow up in this cold and depressing society where everyone’s so serrious and the only thing to do in life is work until you die. I keep telling myself each new season will bring wonderfull new things and that I have so much to look forward to with our daughter. I keep “putting myself out there” but nothing ever comes back. I feel so negative which is totally not me and this feeling just keeps lasting so long, I don’t know how to turn myself around at this point. I really know what to do. Secretly I hope we will move back in 7-10 years, I don’t bring it up becuase I know it makes him mad. I just keep looking for new things to do and hoping one day something will click and I will accept this place. Here’s to hoping!

      1. Kate, I know you are responding to Jen’s comment above, but I also want to respond to you, directly.

        This part of your comment made me so sad: “I really know what to do. Secretly I hope we will move back in 7-10 years, I don’t bring it up becuase I know it makes him mad. I just keep looking for new things to do and hoping one day something will click and I will accept this place. Here’s to hoping!”

        But it also made me happy, because you wrote that you know what to do. I know what you need to do, too, and it’s not easy. I admire you for “hoping,” but sweetheart, you have only one life to live, and you can’t spend 7-10 years of it unhappy and “hoping” it will get better! If you really, truly, in your heart know you cannot stomach the country for the long run, it is really best to cut your losses now. And I don’t say that lightly, but no marriage can survive when both spouses aren’t working toward the same goals.

        I truly feel for you…this is not an easy situation, especially when there is a child involved. I strongly recommend that you seek the advice of an attorney who can advise you of your custody options if you should decide to leave your husband and go back home. Maybe once you know all your options, you will feel better about your decision, one way or the other.

        I wish you the best…good luck, and please feel free to come back and vent anytime.

  27. Hi!

    I stumbled across your blogpost searching for anything or anyone that seemed to relate to what I am going through at the moment. Your post and comments definitely have made me feel a little better already.

    About 6 1/2 months ago, I left Chicago to teach English in Korea. I left behind my family, friends, job, and boyfriend to take this opportunity, which was a stressful decision in itself to make. Everything was exciting and new at first, but I definitely had my ups and downs, especially with maintaining my relationship with my boyfriend. I didn’t think I was overly homesick or stressed about my new lifestyle until about three months into my move here I started noticing my hair falling out more than I’ve ever noticed.

    It’s three months since then and it’s freaked me out so much and put an even more intense strain on my positivity about this experience that I’ve decided to go home. I’m disappointed in myself for not being able to finish my contract and this year living here, but I’ve developed such bad anxiety and depression about my hair loss.

    Would you mind sharing a little more about that aspect of your experience with the stress of living in a new country? I feel so alone and scared after having lost so much of my hair from what I assume is related to my moving here. I’m afraid if I stayed, I’d eventually bald. I’m even nervous about putting my body through more stress going home. Did you experience noticeable hair shedding? It’s hard for me not to panic everytime I run my hand in my hair and more comes out. What change did it take and when did your grow back?

    Sorry this is so long but I really appreciate your post, thank you!

    1. Hi J,

      I’m so glad you commented here, although I’m so sorry that you are experiencing such a physical reaction to your move. First I want to say that you should just stop beating yourself up about not finishing your contract in Korea. Just stop right now, and pat yourself on the back for having given it a try. It was a tremendous learning experience! Now you can check it off your been-there-done-that-and-I’m-never-doing-it-again list. Don’t even give it a second thought. Pack your bags and get home.

      Now, on to the most important thing: The hair loss. Yes, I experienced some pretty significant shedding when I moved. Apparently hair loss is quite common. Three years back home, my hair is way better, but it is not what it was. I don’t want to scare you, because there were some other factors that probably contributed to my hair loss other than the stress and the new country. I’m telling you this because I want to be honest. I also came home with eczema that kept coming up on my hands, and only recently have I put two and two and two together to figure it all out.

      Just before I moved, I had to have a procedure that affected my reproductive organs. I’m telling you this because I didn’t know then that anytime a woman’s reproductive organs undergo a procedure, trauma, or even pregnancy, it causes hormone changes which almost always include some hair loss. So on top of my homesickness and stress, I had the stress of worrying about my health and finding a doc there, on top of the procedure itself. That’s my two + two: procedure + homesickness/stress.

      The last + two is something that has taken me allergy tests, dietary changes, three years of reading, and a lot of playing extremely close attention to my body to figure out. Tests revealed no allergies to any foods or gluten, but I just cold not get rid of the eczema on my hands, and my hair was still not the beautiful mane I had before. But I’m pretty sure I finally figured it out after stumbling onto an eczema support forum: I have a methylisothiazolinone (MIT)* allergy. As soon as I read about MIT, the light bulb went off in my head.

      I looked at my shampoo and conditioner ingredients…my beloved Pantene…and MIT was there. A favorite styling product: MIT. Dove body wash: MIT. My dish soap: MIT. It was in many of the products I use that touch the skin on my hands repeatedly, daily. OMG.

      Then I thought about it a little longer: I’ve been using Pantene products for years, with great results. But a few years ago, ABOUT THE TIME I MOVED, Pantene not only changed its branding and packaging, but its formulations** to include the preservative methylisothiazolinone, which is now unfortunately added to almost every beauty product, and is wreaking havoc on people’s skin and hair.***

      That was a few months ago. I got rid of everything with it. I searched ’til I found a shampoo and conditioner without it (no small feat). I switched all my products, and you know what happened? My eczema faded away. Completely. Three years’ worth of embarrassing rashes and horrible itching and scabs were gone in a couple weeks’ time. MIT. IT IS THE DEVIL.

      OK, so that’s my long-winded way of getting to my recommendations for growing your lost hair back. It will come back. Don’t worry!

      1. Avoid all hair products with methylisothiazolinone. Period. I now use the Organix line. You can find it in most drugstores.

      2. I started taking the supplements Appearex and Viviscal as soon as I was back in the States, and they really did wonders that first year back. I take them every day, and will forever. They are worth every penny. You can get them on drugstore.com.

      3. Don’t stress! Remember it takes time for hair to grow. It may be months before you see changes, but they will come. If after a year or so, you aren’t seeing significant progress, you might consider Rogaine for women. The only thing about it is once you start using it, you kind of have to stick with it forever. But then again, having hair forever is pretty important to most of us, so it’s really a blessing if you use it and it yields worthwhile results.

      I hope this helps. Good luck with your move! Just letting you know that I’m actually going to turn your comment and my reply into a post on my blog tonight…I’ve been meaning to post about MIT for a while, and you gave me a good reason to sit down and write about it, so thank you!

      * http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methylisothiazolinone

      ** “…reformulated Pantene products include 13 substances, including polymers, that P&G has never used before.” http://www.mpdailyfix.com/pantene-gets-to-the-root-of-the-problem/

      *** http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/10164452/Warning-over-epidemic-of-skin-allergies-from-chemical-in-cosmetics-and-household-products.html

  28. I have stumbled across this blog, and am taking a piece of your advice; writing down how I feel. I am so homesick that I if I could just pack it all in and head home I would. I’ve not moved that far; from one end of the country to the other really. It hit me in the first week I was here, I was staying with a friend and I was depressed, physically ill and didn’t eat solid food for 5 days. Once I started work (which is why I moved) I felt better, but as soon as I returned to my friends I felt sick and depressed again.
    Things improved when I found a wee place of my own, the sickness went away and I was functioning at a normal level. In the last two days however I have suddenly been overcome with sadness and sickness again. I have moved on from training at work, and am now doing the job for real. I feel extremely overwhelmed by it all and am thinking this must have something to do with me suddenly wanting to run for home again.
    Just talking to my mum on the phone/txt/skype (who am I kidding, just thinking about my mum) makes me cry. I have been apart from my parents before, in fact I lived in a different part of the country from them for 7 years. We have only been living in the same town for the last 2 – but this change where I can’t just pop round and say hello has been the hardest for me I think.
    I know moving was the best for my career and my uni degree, but it’s been the first time my feelings of wanting home have been this debilitating.
    The real kicker? I grew up in this town I am living in, I was here for 18 years … and I still can’t settle in.

  29. Here is my story. My husband and I are retired. We are 58 & 56. We moved about 7 hours away from home. I have a sister and brothers there, he has a daughter and her husband and a 1 yr old grandson there. He was never really close to his family ever (except the last 10 yrs with his daughter) I am from a larger family and we were always close. Why I agreed to move I will never know. After moving into our new house buying new furniture and getting settled I am feeling so homesick I can’t believe it. Now we never really had any friends just each other and family. We do not like belonging to groups and really do not go to church (but yes, we do believe in GOD.) I have read everything I could find about homesickness on the internet. We do talk on the phone and Skype so it helps a little. Some days are ok, some not. I want to move back so bad. He asked me the other day “What’s Wrong” I said I am homesick. He said nothing. I have been through this before when I moved to the place I just moved from. But that was more than 30 yrs ago and I was in my 20’s. At that time my mother and sister and brother were there so it’s not to same as now. I have so much more to think about now. If one of us gets sick what will the other do? I feel guilty about moving away, but it doesn’t seem to bother him or he’s not telling me.

  30. Thanks a lot for these suggestions! I am an exchange student in Sweden and this is just my first month, but I’ve been feeling so down, that I even considered going back to my country (I am an Indian). All the excitement of being in a new country just wore away after the first two weeks and on top of that, I seem to be having great trouble in making new friends. I’ve not managed to make even one friend even after a month! 🙁
    To top it all I fell sick due to the cold weather and am in a miserable state of mind. And this is worrying my parents too…..

  31. Phew…. laying in a hotel room in Brisbane from Johannesburg feeling homesick…. I could not sleep and was actually feeling a physical pain in my heart just thinking about my parents, brother and boyfriend back home so this blog came as a life saver tonight as I am struggling through jet lag… can not believe this extreme feelings this time around! I have done this expat relocation thing no less than 10 times before!

    Crying… feeling depressed and not sleeping has haunted me since arrival but I know at least things will be better soon… after all this is my choice… my wish…. thanks all for sharing your thought and so making me feel like I am not alone in this. Hence I am repaying the favour….

    1. BB,

      I feel so bad for you! I am so sorry you are unwell. Homesickness is an insidious thing…it can sneak up on even the most seasoned traveler or expat. There is just no predicting its onset or sunset.

      Just cry it out…it’s OK. Sometimes we need to cry and release those feelings so we can move on. The sun will eventually shine and the funk you feel will move on. It just takes time. Try to occupy your mind as much as possible, whether that’s through work, exercise, walks, reading, or a hobby, or ALL of it! Don’t beat yourself up about the way you feel, or put any expectations on yourself. Just take it a day at a time.

      If you can find an expat meet up group, I’ve heard it helps a lot to connect with others who know what you are going through.

      Sending you a big hug and wishing you sunnier days, my dear!

  32. So I recently moved to a new country. I’m not comfortable with the environment, I cry every day, and my mom keeps telling me that it would be okay, I know it will, but I don’t feel like it, I don’t only cry, but when I think about school, it makes me sick, I feel a pain in my gut and I eventually start to cry, thanks for this post it helped me a lot, now I know I’m not alone 🙂

  33. Hi,
    After living for 50 years in the UK, . I recently moved to Tallahassee, Florida with my second wife. I was so excited to move here, my wife is originally from Louisiana and was missing home so we moved from here some 4 months ago. I was fine for the first few weeks then BAM out of nowhere, the homesick blues hit me like a freight train between the eyes!!! I’ve been a nightmare eversince, pinning for home and familiar things I do not want to let my wife down and really love the USA. Will time be my great healer? I so want to be happy here and love my wife dearly, any thoughts gratefully received :)’



  34. I know this is an older post but it really resonated with me. I am from Canada and I am doing an internship in Austria for four months. I know four months doesn’t seem that long to everyone else but to me it feels like ages. I have been here for a month already and I have been incredibly homesick since I got here. It has felt like I am the only one who has ever felt like this. All my friends on exchanges and whatnot have been absolutely loving their experience. I was so happy to come across a post that essentially described exactly how I was feeling!

    I have been trying all of your suggestions and I have to say exercise has been the greatest way for me to feel better. I even signed up for a 14km race in two months so I have something to train for and it is forcing me to get outside and run! I also really like the idea of trying to discover something new everyday. I decided to try the 100 Happy Days social media challenge where you have to post one thing that makes you happy everyday for 100 days. It’s a good motivator to get out and find something new that makes me happy.

    I am still struggling with missing everyone back home, especially my boyfriend who is 9 time zones away. I still count down the days until I leave. I think one of the hardest parts is feeling like I am ungrateful for this amazing opportunity I have. I really want to enjoy it and see Europe and experience this lifestyle but it really is hard.

    Sorry for the long comment, I just really wanted to thank you for making me feel less alone in the homesickness.

    1. Erin, thanks for your comment. I realize that homesickness isn’t any easier even when you’ll only be away for four months. But since it is temporary, hopefully that and the 14km race will keep you from feeling too boxed in. Good luck on your race! Four months will pass quickly. I think you are doing all the right things to try and cope, and I wish you well. 🙂

  35. Hi,

    I am 14 and just moved to boarding school. I am finding it so hard to get used to being away from my parents and family. It’s funny how you some how over look homesickness because it doesn’t seem to be very bad but being here I have realised how tuff it really is. I also now know why they call it homesickness because it literally makes you feel sick. The other day I had a panic attack. I am clearly not coping with this very well. If anyone has any tips I would be so grateful. Thank you so much.


  36. My daughter and I are reading this together online as she struggles with homesickness in her first week away to Germany – missing her home in Eastern Canada. We appreciate this article and we will read the links/articles as well. Thanks.

    1. Hi Kim, thanks for your comment. I’m really glad that this post is helping you both. Homesickness is no walk in the park, that’s for sure. But it does get better. The most important thing is for your daughter to stay busy. We are lucky to have Skype and FaceTime these days, though. They help a lot.

  37. Thank you for this post. I have lived abroad for six years and my homesickness comes in waves. I need to try to make it home once a year but too many bills have prevented this. It was three years since my last visit and it was too long.

    I quite often feel guilty and dread the phone call from home about someone being sick. When I am not feeling homesick I a, rational about it – when homesick I am not rational. It’s awful.

    Facebook really helps me keep in touch but when I am homesick I want to hide away from it.

    I have amazing family and friends on both sides of the pond. I also have real true friends where I have moved. My Stateside friends help me with the feelings that friends and family from home can’t – because they have no idea.

    Thank you again for sharing.

  38. Homesickness can be a very serious issue. Me and boyfriend are also coming from different countries. I am from England and he comes from France. We met in Switzerland and we didn’t think of us being from different countries is a problem. We were even excited about it. So.. we went to live in London where I had a job.. he also found one but I could see that he is miserable.. so I suggested to go to live in Marseille where is warm and beautiful. We did this, but being in a place where not many people speak English was really hard. I am still adjusting to live there.. but homesickness bothers me and I hope that I will be able to overcome it! Thanks for sharing your story and the wonderful tips! Greets!

  39. Thanks for posting this, it has helped me feel a bit more “normal”. I have been living in Germany with my husband for 18 months now, the first year was fine, I attended language school and was ok. Since then I started an apprenticeship which sucked and have started another one which is turning out to be not so great either. I have just felt emotional mess the last few weeks. I am starting to take some me time and do yoga and hope to feel a bit more normal again soon!

  40. Hello, my name is Diane, and I feel very home sick at times. I am 47 and, and live in a small town in Ontario with 5000 people, My daughter is in college , and coming home for the summer, Its been hard for me to cope not being in my home town since my mom’s passing two years ago unexpectedly. I don’t have alot of friends in the town I live in and most of them are just aquaintances, and my husband and I live hours from other family members . I feel i could be happier, moving back home but my husband disagrees. I really don’t know what to do.

  41. Hi

    I have had this awful homesickness for as long as i can remember. I am a 30 year old UK male and i remember crying in bed when i was away. I model for a living and it means going to different cities etc. I lived in London for 4 years and loved the city, but felt so homesick and vulnerable. I often feel nostalgic for days on end.It makes you feel needy and indulge in negative habits like unhealthy eating etc . Well, it does with me at least.
    I even feel homesick going away for a day or two.
    I suspect it’s because i am from a huge very close knit family and i miss the warmth and love.
    Thank you for this article and all the comments. So nice to hear i am not alone.

  42. V-

    Thank you for this post – so many of your feelings resonated with where I am now… stuck in a mess of confusing homesickness symptoms that are tugging at me so much I’m thinking about giving up and moving back home! I moved to California from NC last summer, for grad school but mostly for my (then) fiancee. This year has completely undone me with the stress of school, trying to plan a wedding, deciding we weren’t ready for a wedding with how miserable I was out here, adjusting to being so far from home and in a different time zone…

    I’m a southern girl at heart, just like you. I miss EVERYTHING about the south!! Some days (actually, always) I just want to curl up with a big bowl of buttery grits surrounded by people talking in drawling southern accents and the sound of a thunderstorm outside. My partner is from the west coast and loves it out here… what to do???

    At what point do we say we are from too different of places and we’d be happier going our separate ways? I just can’t see this homesickness going away anytime soon… and I’m not sure my heart’s in it enough to even try.

    1. Hi Katie, sorry for my delay in responding. I feel for you, girl! Only you know if you can really make it there with your partner or not. What I have learned in being the one who moved, and also trying to accommodate my husband when he moved for me is this:

      If 75% of everything in your new city is going well…the relationship, your career or personal goals, your independence; if you have independence, opportunity, and MORE at your disposal in your new place, then try to stick it out. Eventually the homesickness subsides. It takes years, but it gets better as your life there develops.

      If only 25% of your new life works for you, but the rest…ability to make money doing what you love, safety, independence, living in a place that is at least as good as what you left…isn’t there, it might not be the right fit for you, no matter how much you love your partner. You have to have more than just your partner to create a new life for yourself. Without some doors opening, some new opportunities, or at least a little lifestyle upgrade, it is really, really hard to tell yourself the sacrifices you made are worth it. But again, only you can decide. I do hope you find peace, whatever your decision. Please let me know how you go.

  43. Thank you for this tips V, i’ve been crying for almost 3 months now because of home sickness. I am a 20 year old software engineer and it’s my first time being away from home. AND IT SUCKS. in work i always go to the bathroom just to cry, i feel like a little baby and there is no reason to cry actually because home is just 60km away. as what you’ve said that is not about home it’s about the lack of normal gives me a better understanding of my situation. THANK YOU. 🙂

    1. Aw, hope you feel better soon! It takes a while to adjust, but at least you are close to home and can pop back for a visit easily!

  44. Thank you for writing this article! I’m someone who gets homesick easily and doesn’t do well with change. My husband and I moved from VA to NC to try to push our boundaries and try living in a new place. While it’s not that great of a distance, I feel we are thousands of miles away from where we lived. The hardest part was that I gave up a job I loved to move. The job I have now pales in comparison and just makes me homesick/nostalgic even more. My husband and I decided to give it a year and then reevaluate the situation. I appreciate the fact that you moved back to the US. I felt like a failure for even considering that option but sometimes you try things and they just don’t work. Thanks again for putting your thoughts out there to help those of us still very much effected by homesickness!

    1. Hi Jessica, thanks for your comment. Hope you can find some happiness in your new home…don’t know where you are in NC, but I’m in it too…and that’s HOME for me. Funny, huh?

      I recently wrote this to another commenter, and it’s very similar to what you are thinking, so you are definitely taking a healthy approach:

      “I feel like so many people decide that once they make “the move,” it is set in stone. That any commitment you make…two years, two months, whatever…you HAVE TO DO IT. You know what? YOU DON’T. You don’t have to do it just because you said you would. The point is not that you force yourself through months or years of unhappiness to say you did it. The point is simply to have TRIED, right? To go and see instead of wondering your whole life what it might have been like.”

      Give it that year and see…that’s more than fair! Good luck.

  45. I too recently moved to NC. I’ve been horribly homesick and wish more than anything my husband and I could go back home. We moved because my husband found a better job opportunity down here. He’s been fine with the move and adjustment but I have been miserable. I’m alone 11 hrs a day (he leaves around 7 and gets home at 6). I wish we never moved. The only hope I have now is that at some point maybe he will consider moving back home where all of our family and friends are.

    1. Hi Liz, so sorry you are missing home! Please read through the comments and my replies on this post. You will see that you are not alone! Also, you will read my advice on coping with homesickness…you have to find something to do! Take a class. Volunteer. Exercise. Explore. You can’t just sit home for 11 hours…that makes it a million times worse.

      Luckily, the weather is changing in NC now, and fall is just around the corner. It’s a great time to get out there and walk and enjoy the beautiful turning of the leaves. Getting outside into the fresh air is crucial to helping stay sane! Good luck!

  46. Hi

    I have had this awful homesickness for as long as i can remember. I am a 30 year old UK male and i remember crying in bed when i was away. I model for a living and it means going to different cities etc. I lived in London for 4 years and loved the city, but felt so homesick and vulnerable. I often feel nostalgic for days on end.It makes you feel needy and indulge in negative habits like unhealthy eating etc . Well, it does with me at least.
    I even feel homesick going away for a day or two.
    I suspect it’s because i am from a huge very close knit family and i miss the warmth and love.
    Thank you for this article and all the comments. So nice to hear i am not alone.

  47. “Dr Obodo I think your spell are working on my relationship with my wife! Before she wanted to separate and divorce – these days she’s calling me! She texts me: “Maybe we should think it over about your leaving…why can’t you talk to me?” God bless you!” Hang-on to Dr obodo info: templeofanswer@hotmail.co.uk
    M. Nagazadeh, Richmond, Virginia

  48. Oh yeah hi! I’ve been separated from my parents for three years and I still can’t shake this home sickness thing, I separated myself from them when I was 12 since I wanted to go to a better school, now I’m 15 and I am a senior at this really big school, up until now I can’t help but cry every night and how I’d pretend myself to be the optimistic and happy-go-lucky me. I can’t help it, I am just a very emotional person, an emotional wreck if you may… But as soon as I read this, I’m sure I’ll be less sad and more on the good side, thanks!

  49. I am 32 and recently moved out of my childhood home. (Which is only 20 minutes away). Distance doesn’t matter. It’s still scary.
    It was something that I knew I needed to do for me and my parents. The move went great and I was comfortable immediately in my new house… BUT! As the last 2 months have passed by I developed some anxiety… it was so bad that it eventually boiled over and I broke down into a full blown panic attack. I didn’t know what it was until about 2 days ago. It’s homesickness! Separation anxiety. I am having to create a home all by myself and it’s intimidating.
    I’ve found some very effective coping mechanisms and I am determined to stick it out. Even though it’s sometimes nauseating and scary. I’ve lost so much hair and my appetite is on and off. I’m not a big social animal so that’s something I need to work on… but this is a chance to conquer a fear.

    1. Darcie, I am so sorry you feel so bad. It is a huge adjustment to move out on your own. It IS scary. (I’ve never lived alone!) I do hope that since it’s been a couple months, maybe the coping mechanisms you found have helped you ease into it. You’ll get there…it takes time! Just remember that you have total freedom to create the space and home you want, and that is very refreshing. You can always create a new weekly date with your parents where they come to your place for dinner, and you create new memories with them there. I have a feeling you will absolutely conquer this fear. If you need extra security to help you, get it…alarm system, a dog, a cat, whatever you need! Please let me know how you are.

  50. I know exactly what you all mean! I’ve only moved around 5 miles away but it might as well be ‘anywhere’ because everything feels so ‘alien and wrong’. The move has made me really ill with deep depression and anxiety, I just wish I’d have done some research on homesickness before we moved because it came right out of the blue and it’s THE most horrendous thing I’ve ever gone through. I yearn to be back ‘home’ but that’s not gonna happen, our house was sold. The only thing we can do is to move back to the same area where at least things are familiar … but my other half is sceptical about that. I really do hope someone out there reads the comments from everyone and takes heed before it’s too late.

    1. Diana, so sorry you are so homesick. Hopefully you are feeling a little more settled? It takes time. Luckily you’re not too far from your original stomping grounds, so you can always visit the shops and things there if you want. I know how you feel, though. Even in my home city, when I finally bought a house and moved into it in the same city, I still had a kind of buyer’s remorse for a long time. I moved in autumn too, and it was dark and the trees had lost their leaves and it felt so depressing, even if I didn’t know where I’d rather be. Fast forward 13 years, and I’m still in that house and I love, love, love my neighborhood. Try to ride it out and go through some seasons. You often find that once the sun comes out and the weather warms up, it’s not as bad as you thought. Good luck!

  51. Hi,
    I have to move to Sweden for around 6 months and I am feeling horrible. I don’t why but I have fear like I will lost in the new country and no one would able to come and help me out even though I have to go on to a business trip from India.
    Please help me, tell me what to do. I am one hell of an introvert, shy and all these things.

    But I also want to come out from this comfort zone, I want to grow myself out of this fear.
    I want to explore the world, I want to fly and reach the heights .


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