Friend Friday: Negativity in Blogging

Recently, there has been a lot of talk about bloggers who have created blogs solely for attacking the wardrobe choices and posts of fashion bloggers. There is a lot of negativity. And that’s this week’s subject.

  1. Do you post pictures on your blog, or would you if the opportunity came along, of people with poor fashion/beauty sense?
  2. Do you read any blogs that highlight the bad? Why?
  3. Should these bloggers get permission to post the pictures from the subject in the same way the street-style blogs do?
  4. As human beings we are fascinated with disasters—of all sorts—why do you think that is? How do the blogs/websites that highlight the negative thrive?
  5. For many, fashion is subjective. Do you think there can be anything that is objectively bad in the fashion world?

UPDATE: Some of you have commented about the lipstick I’m wearing in the video. It’s another fab shade by Yves Saint Laurent: YSL Rouge Pur #128.

*The Friend Friday project by Modly Chic is a way for bloggers to share more about themselves and create a friendly connection with other bloggers. Join the conversation by joining the Fashion Beauty Friend Friday Google Group.

67 comments

  1. I love your Vlogs! Couldn’t agree more with the “Misery loves Company” comment. And people that put their energy into being negative and hateful from behind a computer screen are truly sad and pathetic people. Great job V.

  2. I couldn’t agree more about the idea of blogging in a positive manner. I’ve found that over the years I’ve stopped following blogs with a predominantly negative tone. For me personally, I’m turned off when bloggers bash each other…or even constantly focus on the things they don’t like in their own lives. My goal in reading blogs is to escape to a happy place, and I try to keep that in mind when writing my own blog. Great vlog V! Have a beautiful weekend!
    XO Piper

  3. I needed the last part of this blog today as I was mean yesterday and just need to move on from it! Thanks for talking sense into us, Miss V. I miss your blog! I want to know about all the cool things you are doing, but I know you love your privacy, so I’ll see you when you come back!

    1. Aw, thank you Courtney! I appreciate your support and understanding. I’ve got more posts queued for the next week or so. I’m squeezing them in when I can.

  4. Absolutely agree! I like what you said about ‘let people be’ … Everyone has their own perspective … You do not have to agree with it all … but you do not have to shoot them all down either! Great Vlog!

    P.S. Loved your lip-color. Looks good on you 🙂

  5. #1 I love your lipstick. Is it Funny Face?
    #2 totally agree. Much like Piper, I like reading positive blogs. I used to read perez hilton EVERYDAY, but one day just stopped. I was sick of reading him making fun of these people and tear them down. I’m so over it!

    It’s nice to have you back!

    1. Thank you Suze! the lippie is YSL Rouge Pur #128.

      I’m still loving your responses to these questions, especially the additional bit about being picked on. You are so right.

      And it’s nice to know I have been missed. I really didn’t think that would be the case. Sometimes a break is good…plus, I like to be a little unpredictable, you know?W

  6. I love your V-blog post because it’s a chance for you to talk directly to readers like me 🙂 The golden rule is always important. I feel like if you can’t say something positive about a blog post, just don’t say anything at all.

  7. I have a really simple policy. If I don’t like something I don’t comment. Just because I don’t like it, doesn’t mean its wrong. Its called “personal preference” Great topic V. Negativity = jealousy. One should take it as a compliment. Have a great weekend.

    LOx

    1. Lee! Amen, honey. You’re right, we should take jealousy as a compliment. Easier said than done, but it’s the right perspective to have.

      Hope Berry was fun!

  8. Its great to have you back! I know how crazy life can be!

    I’m totally with you on the karma. I definitely don’t want it done to me so I wouldn’t do it other people. I’m a firm believer about taking what you dish out – so you put something negative out there, you have to prepared for the consequences!

    Great answers as always!

    1. Aw, thank you MJ! Taking what you dish out…SO important, and most people can’t do it. But yeah, if you’re going to throw stones, you better make sure you know what they feel like first.

  9. I couldn´t agree more with you… As ever, so well put that I have nothing more to add.
    Always a pleasure to see and hear you.
    Un abrazo y mil besos.
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  10. Great answers! Not that I’d expect any less from you. Love the point about Karma. I don’t understand why anyone would want to generate or ingest such negativity – I’m also totally with you on everything you’ve said about horror movies!
    Fantastic lipstick by the way!

    1. Thank you sweetie! The lippie is another YSL…which has become my fave brand for lipsticks, even over MAC (and I’m a hard sell).

  11. Hi V!!! Loved your video….I just learned about Katys challenge this morning..I posted that I wanted to join in as well..love the questions, and of course reading everyones answers:)

  12. Once again, I completely agree. I used to be a huge fan of Perez Hilton until he started getting worse in his tone and his attacks on people. Although I’m sure, it’s all for the fun of it, but his tone was so negative and condescending. There are some blogs out there that are now 100% dedicated to finding all these “horrible dressed people”. It’s a waste of time but unfortunately there is a huge population that is in enjoyment of this type of company.

    You know, after watching your posts on Friend Friday, I’d really like to participate. How or is it possible to join? I’d really like to have my say too.

    xx,
    Christina
    http://www.profreshstyle.com

    1. Hey doll, thanks for ringing in here. I don’t understand how people can live with themselves knowing they’re dissing people as a matter of public record. It’s wrong. But one of my favorite sayings is that it’s their sin and not mine. They’ll have to answer for it one way or another.

      I know I emailed you about this, but for others who want to join in on Friend Friday discussions, just sign up for the Google group: http://groups.google.com/group/fashion-beauty-friend-friday

  13. Hello, nice to see you. You look terrific as always. The horror movie comment, yes, that is the exact reason why I don’t watch them. Of course, everything else you spoke about was terrific, too. Thanks for finishing with the Golden Rule. It really is that simple.

    1. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Thanks hon. I appreciate your comment and thoughts. And why am I not surprised we have yet another thing in common?

  14. I wrote “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure”, too – I try to remember that when I see jeggings…! I also think you’re right about letting other people be – there are much better ways to expend energy, especially when so many bloggers are so positive and supportive.

    1. MrsB…agreed. That’s what I aim to do here, at least. That’s why I’d rather post less and respond to every comment when I can. We need to be supportive and kind. Everyone has something to give, and we can learn from others if we’d just give them a chance.

  15. V – Your makeup is stunning in this post! You should do a how-to video on that. Love the lipstick shade. And I couldn’t agree more with your post – live the golden rule!
    – Katy

    1. Thank you Katy! The lippie is YSL Rouge Pur #128. I so wish I could do a vlog on this makeup, but that eyeliner is unpredictable. Some days it goes on easy, others, it takes me 20 minutes and 20 Q-Tips to get it right!

  16. I couldn’t agree more with your feelings about horror movies! I have never been a fan of them!

    I don’t have time for blogs that get mired in negativity, and I’m definitely turned off by bashing other bloggers or other people on blogs or gossip sites or whatever. There are real problems in this world and someone’s outfit, even if I personally don’t care for it, does not rank among them.

    1. LHdM, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I love what you wrote:

      “There are real problems in this world and someone’s outfit, even if I personally don’t care for it, does not rank among them.”

      Amen.

  17. Love these videos, and completely agree!
    Butter London is good. Is it worth $14? I might need to do another post on it haha. I love the colors I got and the quality is good so I’m happy to have them in my collection. I don’t think they’re any better than OPI, which you can get for less than $10 around here – so that’s the short answer 🙂

    1. Thank you Katie! Just when I think I want to abandon them (my vlogs) and that they suck, I get such positive feedback. I’m glad you all appreciate the simplicity of them. I really do believe in having a conversation with other bloggers, and I want my vlogs to feel that way.

      Thanks for the tip about Butter. I’m a die-hard OPI girl…I have many, many bottles. But I’ve seen a few Butter shades that your can’t get from OPI, so I may give one a whirl and see. Let me know if you review Butter, OK?

  18. You know that I love me a funny and sharp fashion blog, but the mean ones that feature undercover street shots are just not something I want to be a part of. A blog I used to check out (I think you might know which one I am talking about) turned really, really nasty a few months ago, so I stopped visiting it. The sad thing is that the meaner it gets on that blog, the more its readership grows.

    1. Hey T, yeah, I know the blogger you’re talking about. I used to think he was funny, but it just got more ugly and predictable, so I stopped reading and unfollowed a long time ago. It is perplexing that the haters seem to have a massive following, but I’m not really concerned about numbers so much. Ultimately, for me, it’s about having fun and making some friends. If other bloggers have thousands of readers and followers, that’s cool. Truthfully, if I had a massive amount of commenters, it would make it even harder on me to show them the same support. I’m already struggling as it is. And I really believe in supporting those who support you.

  19. Yay! Great to see you on video. I just love your vlogs 🙂 your passion really comes through!

    Totally agree with all of your answers. In fact, they are pretty much spot on to mine. Fashion is definitely a personal expression and I agree “to each, his own.” As I mentioned in my post, it seems ver y odd to me that bloggers would do this to each other of all people, because we know the feeling of vulnerability that comes along with blogging. Especially, if you have the outfit post kind of blog. I really just don’t understand it at all.

    Anyway, I love your lipstick and your rings. Lookin fab as usual!

    xoxo,
    eboni ife’

  20. I like Historia’s comment. Yours is the fifth take on this topic I’ve read tonight. Your answer to number 3 is considerably different than several of the others. I have been snapping candid shots of the students on my campus and had planned to do a street style type of post about the way students on my midwestern campus tend to dress for class. It was NOT intended to be negative at all. Is this kind of thing okay.

    Also, I wonder if your Friend Friday group could discuss how to give “constructive criticism,” as I think I want some.

    1. Terri, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I noticed that my #3 answer was different as well. Full disclosure is nice, but do we really want to know if someone is taking a photo of us to later make fun of us? Ideally, they just wouldn’t do it. In a perfect world.

      Regarding what you were planning to do, I probably would not post candid photos of students. You just never know what stance the school might take on that, even if your intention is good. The only way I’d do it is if I got written permission from those I photograph. I know it’s meant to be positive, but universities and companies can be funny about things like that.

      I like your idea bout how to give constructive criticism. It’s a tricky thing. I’ll submit it as a topic suggestion.

      Thanks again!

  21. I’m so pleased to see another of your vlogs! I’ve missed them!
    I totally agree with all your answers / comments on the negativity issue and I also agree with your views on horror films – I dislike them for the same reasons you do.

    You look amazing, your make up is flawless!!

    Hope you enjoy your weekend xox

  22. Great post and great vlog!!! I’m with Lee on this one, there’s personal preference, we’re all individuals right… and if there’s something you don’t like, there’s no need to air it!
    Looking dynamic too!

    Hope all is good with doll. Have a fab weekend!
    x.o.x.o

  23. I know how crazy life gets once in a while, and I always miss updating my blog too! Glad to see you’re back. I agree with what you said about the negativity issue. Even sometimes when I receive mean comments on my blog, I don’t publish them. I just don’t understand why people feel the need to share negativity. You are so poised in your vlogs! Keep on making them!

    1. Aw, thank you, hon! I appreciate your support and the time you took to leave me a little note. I agree…why do people take time to expend negative energy?

  24. I have missed your vlogs! You have a really strong presence in front the camera, you should totally do more of them!
    Plus It’s always good to hear your southern accent! lol
    About the negativity issue, I rarely, if at all, visit blogs/websites that put up photos of bad outfits etc. because it makes me feel really uncomfortable looking at and reading it!
    xoxo
    Meg

    p.s your garden looks really pretty through your window! haha

    1. Thanks Meg! It’s so nice to get this kind of feedback. Sometimes I wonder if my vlogs are just a total waste of time, but they seem to be liked, so when I can, I will continue them.

      Yeah, the nasty blogs…I’m of this mindset: why would I want to feed their stats and up their traffic by taking a peek? I refuse to support those kinds of blogs.

      Thanks again for taking a moment to comment….I know you are soooo busy!

  25. this topic has been really on my mind lately and i was so happily surprised to see it as the topic of your vlog! it recently came to my attention that italy has a pretty thriving network of fashion blog haters that dedicate a lot of time and effort to ripping apart italian bloggers, particularly the most popular ones, and i was pretty appalled by that. i can understand if fashion blogs aren’t someone’s thing but to devote so much of yourself to just ripping apart other people seems so useless and mean-spirited.

    needless to say, i agree with you wholeheartedly. and though you may not be a psychologist i think you’re theory about why people do this is pretty spot on… “when people aren’t happy with what they have in their life they take great pleasure out of seeing how the might have fallen.”

    but i only feel this way in relation to individuals. i think it’s ok to discuss what you dislike in terms of brands and designer looks. in fact, i kind of wish that happened more often. i feel as though people are really hesitant to give negative feedback towards a designer out of some sort of silly fear. but when it comes to ripping apart individuals all these people jump on the bandwagon. it just seems so unbalanced to me. brands can handle it! but ripping apart the honest efforts of an individual is just mean.

    1. Kristy, thank you for your well-written and thought-provoking comment. I agree that brands are a different story. Not that we should be downright ugly in our evaluations, but I would like to see a little more truth in fashion criticism. Sometimes the fashion writers wax philosophic and swoon over some seriously hideous collections. It is so emperor’s new clothes, and it is transparent as hell. So yeah, I agree wholeheartedly—it is unbalanced. There should be more truth in that area, for sure.

      xo

      1. yay! i love the line “it is so emperor’s new clothes and it is transparent as hell.” yeah! that’s such a perfect description for it.

        liking a show that most people might consider weird or even ugly just because you happen to have a quirkier sense of style is totally fine and awesome. but you can tell those people, because they tend to dress with that aesthetic always. but it makes me laugh when i see bloggers and journalists who look like they might have stepped out of some ultra-prep catalogue praising something like marni’s ss 2011 show. it comes off as totally disingenuous.

  26. I recently posted a photo of Hillary Clinton’s heinous hair clip as a public service announcement for people who don’t know how to dress professionally. Other than egregious fashion mishaps like that, my policy is Wear What You Want (even if I don’t like it).

    1. I saw that post, Wendy, and I can totally see where you were coming from. I love your policy, though, and I’ve also seen that on your blog as well.

      Thanks for your comment!

  27. In total agreement with everything you’ve said. I am so late it was such a busy week. I go by the mantra of treat people like you would want to be treated so I don’t want my blog about bashing other people.
    I can’t stand horror movies, I get nightmares for days.
    Have a great weekend!

  28. publicly cutting someone down/belittling/making fun for whatever reason, as some blogs tend to do, is simply bad form and poor taste. and it makes for rather bad karma. i don’t partake. there’s enough negativity, rudeness, stress and mal intent in the world without adding fuel to the flame.

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