So here are the pleather leggings I recently told you about, worn to see Lady Gaga. I think they’re my new favorite wardrobe addition. Totally cannot wait until it gets cooler…I have so many plans for these babies!
So Gaga was great, of course, but before I get to her, I have to tell you a little story. Please bear with me. It’s worth it.
See my lovely sparkly eyelashes in the shot below? (I don’t have a better shot because I was already running late when I snapped these photos—but they had little sparkly dots glued on them.) I have never used false eyelashes before. About a month ago while in Sally Beauty Supply, I was seized by some crazy drag queen buying frenzy in which I purchased a wax pot and related supplies (for home waxing), a couple pairs of false eyelashes, adhesive, some contraption for putting them on—and I would have also taken home hair extensions if they hadn’t been sold of of the clip-in kind. Because I need hair extensions, right? Anyway.
Lashes of Love
In my infinite wisdom, I decide the very first time I would rock my false lashes would be for the Gaga concert. So here I am, lash virgin, with my adhesive and lashes and a lofty vision of some fantastic Pat McGrath-esque outcome. I dip the lashes in adhesive and attempt to apply to my right eye. But I cannot seem to get them lined up. These are false lashes, I think, not rocket science. I pull them up and try again. The truth, I suddenly realize, is that I totally suck at this. I start to get frustrated and begin to sweat, and I’m losing valuable time.
Hubby hears and sees my frustration and—to my surprise—offers to help me. He takes the lashes and dips them in the adhesive again. “Now stay still,” he says, and I close my eye and he applies the first half. Perfectly. Then he gets the other one set up and applies it as well. But there wasn’t enough glue in the inner corner, so it’s lifting. He shushes me and again admonishes me to still myself while he applies a dab of glue with a Q-tip and tweezers. I look in the mirror and I can’t believe that my husband—big tough guy, so not even close to Mr. Metrosexual—has just put on my first set of false lashes. I’m a total drag queen failure! And I immediately fall a little more in love with him.
You’d think the story would end there, wouldn’t you? Well, it didn’t. Remember my Pat McGrath-esque vision? I want more. So I take out my sparkling black MAC eyeshadow and proceed to apply it to the lid of my right eye. Suddenly I see spots. Not in my vision…on my eyelid. God. There are little drops of dried glue on my eyelid that were previously invisible until they acted as a barrier against my shadow. Try as I might, I cannot fix the spots. It’s a total disaster.
My frustration is now even higher and I peel off my lashes and grab a wipe and proceed to remove all the makeup. Hubby is not happy that I’ve destroyed his work. I finally get my eye cleaned up and go to reapply the lashes. Only they won’t stick—and—my irritated eyelid is now on FIRE from the chemicals in the adhesive. I’m really whingeing now. Time is ticking. I haven’t even done my hair yet. Hubby shoos me away from my own eye. He takes over and reapplies the lashes on my right eye and tells me to leave it alone, once and for all. And I do. Hubby, lash man extraordinaire, saved me—and my lashes stayed put the entire night.
Lashes in place, boots on, hair blown, I head to meet my gal pal for the concert, and what a spectacular array of eccentricities it is. It goes without saying that Lady Gaga puts on a killer show. She rocked it. Totally worth the money, even if only for the people watching.
I only had my iPhone and could not properly capture the fantastic freak show that is the Monster Ball—the fans—but here is one snap I managed to take with an outrageously fun group. The atmosphere was so open and electric that I almost couldn’t believe where I was. I had such a good time.
Below is a snippet of video from the concert as well, if you are interested. I didn’t shoot it, but it’s pretty good close-up of Gaga, in all her macabre glory.