Friend Friday: Am I a narcissist?

That’s what this week’s Friend Friday* topic is about: blogging and narcissism. Are bloggers really narcissists masquerading as Web 2.0 journos and creative expressionists?  What do you think? And what does narcissism really mean?

nar·cis·sism (närs-szm) n.
1. Excessive love or admiration of oneself. See Synonyms at conceit.
2. A psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem.

These are the questions we were asked…watch the vlog for my answers:

  1. Do you think personal fashion blogging is inherently narcissistic?
  2. I think we can all agree, that certainly some blogs are personal odes to the blogger. In your opinion what makes a blog narcissistic.
  3. Would you classify your blog as narcissistic? Why?
  4. How can we combat the idea that because we share personal style thoughts/pictures we are automatically full of ourselves?
  5. How do you explain what you do to others in a way that doesn’t come across as narcissistic?

*The Friend Friday project by Modly Chic is a way for bloggers to share more about themselves and create a friendly connection with other bloggers. Katy of Modly Chic sends us questions weekly, and we answer on our blogs.

89 comments

  1. THANK YOU! Fashion blogging (actually, most blogging and social media) is soooooo narcissistic and I always find it amusing when folks try to explain it away as something else. Let’s own our narcissism, people! : )

    1. You’re right, T, like who are they trying to kid? We do need to own our narcissism! Thanks for always commenting sweetie!

  2. I need to send my ex to your blog… He fits this definition perfectly! 😉 But no, love this post! I haven’t ever thought of it that way before but good points!

  3. V darling, i always LOVE your vlogs, you are amazing, always inspiring, and best of all is your honestly, I value that in you, you have integrity, i am so glad that you started this blog and share your ‘pearls of wisdom’ with all of us, love love love, jemina, xoxo
    PS: would you like me to help you get that neon belt? it is not expensive, it cost me around USD 30 or USD40, sorry i forgot the exact figure, hit me up at jeminajakin@gmail.com should you need any assistance, much much love, XOXO

    1. Thank you Jemina…you’re a doll. I really appreciate your comments. Let me think about the belt…I’ve been a little *too* good to myself lately!

  4. I couldn’t agree with you more!! and Seriously i need more vlogs!! haha your fantastic on camera!! oh and can we talk about your outfit?? You look great here. Love it all. was it a top or a dress?? And where are the jewels from?

    1. Thank you Monique, you’re so sweet to say that. Makes all my efforts worthwhile knowing others appreciate them.

      I’m wearing a minidress I got in Sydney that I LOVE. Wish I had another in a different color. You can see it styled differently, and in winter, here: http://www.gritandglamour.com/2010/02/20/wvw-hippie-glam/.

      The necklaces are a mix of real, old, and new. The longest chain with the gold medallion is real gold, 70s vintage…my mom’s. I love it! The black OM pendant is costume, from Neiman Marcus a couple years back. The gold cross is real, and also many years old. The shortest necklace is the Tiny Anchor from Amanda Deer on Etsy.

      Bracelets are glass from Beachcombers online. I love, love, love them. They’re like the ones Indian brides wear in their weddings. I’m thinking of ordering more so I can stack both wrists.

      Finally, the ring is Stephen Dweck. Also from Neiman Marcus. A 35th birthday gift to myself. One of my faves.

      Thanks again!

  5. You know, I don’t share my blog with many people I know for fear that they might think of me as narcisstic. But I know there is inherently an element of “Look at me I’m fabulous” that comes with fashion blogging! I wouldn’t classify my blog as completely narcissistic as I don’t *always* post pictures of myself… 😛 I try to switch it up by posting other things I like, such as recipes, flowers, nail art, etc. But I know that there’s a *demand* for photos of yourself and I think that’s what drives me to post more and more pictures even when I’m not always comfortable doing so…

    I COMPLETELY agree about what you said about replying to comments… I just think it’s SO important. There’s nothing worse than being ignored! It just really bothers me when people ignore tweets/e-mails/comments … I’m taking the time to say something to you or ask you something, the *least* you can do is just acknowledge it! Well said.

    P.S. I love those flowers that your hubby sent you! What a sweetie!

    1. Thank you Leia…I’m glad I’m not the only one who gets cross when I’m ignored. And of course, thanks for always visiting and commenting, love!

  6. Great topic and you’re extremely well-spoken. I agree that blogging and social media is mostly narcisstic. This is the issue I’ve had mainly with posting my own personal style photos cause I just feel like who the hell cares what I wear, I’m not a model and I don’t think that people want to see my mug plastered all over my blog. To your point, I’m a writer and my blog’s focus is mainly the words. Thanks for this video it was great!

    1. Fajr, thank you so much. Sometimes I think the same thing—who the hell cares—but the surprising thing is that there are people that do. I think the beauty of blogs like ours is, like you said, that we are NOT models. We are not pros, you know? Does that make us less important? Or beautiful? Or worthy? Or interesting? Absolutely not!

      We all have our reasons for blogging. If somewhere along the way our experience inspires, comforts, entertains, or intrigues another, that’s just gravy, isn’t it?!

      Thanks again!

  7. Yessss!!
    You’re beautiful on the inside & out! Who said fashion bloggers aren’t smart cookies!? 😉
    Love the accessories!

    Happy Fashionista Friday!

    x, Kelly

  8. This is such a good question. I don’t think blogging is necessarily narcissistic when the blogger gives back to the community. Like you mentioned, replying to comments/acknowledging your audience makes the readers feel appreciated.

    1. Doesn’t it?

      If we’re not interacting, what’s the point of the Web? Might as well be reading a magazine.

      Thanks for your comment Beth!

  9. i totally agree with what you said!!! so right… well i really have to thank you all your lovely comments! i promise soon to take more “fun photo shootings” but this week i´ve been so busy and there´s also the fashion event until sunday, 4 july, so the photos will be about my outfits in the event 😉 i hope you´ll enjoy it anyway!!

    i´m loving your rings and shoes so much!!! 😀

    xx,
    mirandastyleatbreakfast.blogspot.com

    1. MIRANDA!!!! Hello lovely, and thank you! Can’t wait to see your next posts. I seriously have missed you and Bernardo.

    1. Hi Audrey, thanks for visiting and for your comment.

      Yes, our blogs are all about us…but isn’t that the most compelling aspect of them? We can all post magazine spreads, but what interests me more is seeing what others are doing/wearing/writing/eating/experiencing. That’s good stuff.

  10. First off, happy birthday! I REALLY enjoy your vlogs. (And to be honest – I generally am not a vlog fan.) But you come across as so intelligent, well-spoken and down-to-earth. Not to mention, your pure honesty just cracks me up! When I saw this week’s questions – I couldn’t wait to see what you would do with it. Love it!
    XO Piper

    1. Wow, Piper, I am so flattered. Thank you so very much! This means so much to me, especially coming from someone with a discerning eye and incredible taste.

  11. I really love how eloquently you address this topic– especially the reiteration that narcissism isn’t necessarily a bad thing!

    Are we all narcissistic– yes. I think all bloggers are, because we inherently feel we have an opinion that needs to be shared with the world. The fact that fashion blogging is more self-focused, rather than directed on something like marketing, movie reviews, makes it just more OBVIOUS that there’s that indulgence there….

    Fantastic post (and you’re so lovely on film!).

    1. Thank you Ms. Mischief…salient points you make as well. I so appreciate your kind words and comment, especially knowing what a dynamite blogger you are! I love your blog. Extremely well-done.

      Thanks for popping over!

  12. Great topic and a great responses to this Friday’s questions!

    Narcissism is something friends and I were discussing recently. The definition of the word is what was used to fuel the discussion. “Excessive love or admiration of oneself” and “unconscious deficits in self-esteem.” Loving oneself first and foremost, above another, is what the books/psychologists/sociologists/mothers/etc tells us we need to do in order to be a good human beings and successful in relationships.
    The definition of the word implies a contradiction.
    I could easily babble on about the topic, but I’m not going to. :o)
    I completely agree with your point of view. Bloggers are narcissistic and this shouldn’t be looked upon as a negative characteristic.. Narcissism is more a good thing than a bad.
    Also, I think your space in the blogosphere is beautiful!

  13. i LOVE you. these are such intelligent responses to the questions. i agree with you wholeheartedly. i think ALL blogging is inherently narcissistic to an extent, regardless of topic. fashion blogs tend to be a little more so because of the photographing ourselves aspect. but you’re right, it isn’t a bad thing until it becomes obvious that the blog owner really doesn’t care about anyone but themselves. responding to comments, supporting other bloggers are all things that show a person has more than just narcissism in their personalities. one of the things that i try to do to keep the narcissistic level down is to keep it more about the artistry of the pictures and the idea behind the photoshoot and the styling of the clothing, and less about “me me me and oh look at me and hey look at my life and wow aren’t i so great and cool and awesome and pretty!!” and like you, i also provide people with writing and other work and hope that they care about those things as well, because i know i really do. i don’t think i’d be able to have a blog that was just pictures of me. i think i’d get sick of seeing my own face. =P

    anyway, wonderful post. sorry for the long comment! i’m tweeting/facebooking this.

    1. Thank you Kristy. I so appreciate and respect your perspective and the tweet(s)! We’re definitely blogging buddies. Are you a Cancer too?! Your bday was within days of mine. That is not a coincidence. Most of my closest friends were born within days of me.

      Big kiss to you sugar…

  14. great vlog, all good points! i don’t think its so strange or bad to be a bit narcissitic–i don’t see fashion blogging as That different from having all those facebook profile pictures people post of themselves constantly, you know? i don’t always consider fashion blogging narcissitic though–especially the ones that don’t have outfit posts. a lot of times though, i wish the ones that didn’t post outfits Would post outfits–its nice to see all their good advice in action.

    1. Hi Renee…thanks for your comment. You’re right, not much different from Facebooking, really. Excellent point.

  15. Great vlog, totally agree with you! I get tired of seeing a certain “famous” blogger post photos of herself with the same scowl or far-away gaze, get hundreds of comments telling her how amazing she is, and with no thank you or actual substance to any of her posts. how boring.

    And I’m from oklahoma, so totally agree with the comment on southern etiquette. 🙂

    1. Hi BT…glad you could identify. And I’m identifying with that killer snake bracelet you just scooped…nice!

  16. I love that you did a vlog instead of text! I’m normally not in a place where I can watch them but I’m glad I could this time. I feel exactly the same way you do about the comments and what you said about passing someone on the street and complimenting them was spot on. That’s a great way to describe it.

    1. Thank you Melissa. You made some great points yourself. Glad you liked the vlog, makes it all worthwhile, you know?

    1. Hi Nikki, and thank you! RE: the accessories. Sometimes I feel like more is more. A lot.

      Thanks for you comment!

  17. This is great! Ha, yesss! What’s wrong with a bit of “I love meeeeee” anyways? I also know what you mean about ‘no response/lack of acknowledgement’… manners people, manners! A simple thank you is enough. Which reminds me… best get mine up! Naughty me!

    I am so loving your bling baby… ooh and that dress/top?! Looking good as usual.

    Have a fab weekend!
    x.o.x.o

    1. Recent commenters, I am on holiday without full Internet access. I will respond to your comments as soon as I am able, and I thank you all for your kind words and compliments! V

  18. Hi V.
    I just returned from my vacation and I see I have a lot to catch up on.
    The answers on your vlog are very thought provoking…I need time to process.
    Enjoy your holiday.
    The roses are beautiful, kudos to your husband, and I believe a “Happy Birthday” should be given.
    Friends,
    Beverly

  19. Cute vlog! I like your sweet southern twang. I actually think that I am vain, not narcissistic. My blog includes some unflattering photos and outfits, and questions for the community. I don’t think of myself as a content creator and those who visit my blogs as my readers, but I think of us as being a larger community. I read and comment on other’s blogs just as they read and comment on mine. And while there is some element of self love and bit of self promotion, I come across as quite self-deprecating in some of my posts. I have real life friends who read, so I think of it of as a chill way of saying, “Hey what do you think of this outfit” to a broader group of people (especially since dressing with a purpose is a pretty new game for me).
    Then again, maybe a little insecurity and a little narcissism are two sides of the same coin. Anyway, you look fab and happy 4th to you too.

    1. Brooklyn, thank you. Sometimes that twang pops out. I so appreciate you compliment and comment. And you are self-deprecating, and I think that goes a long way.

  20. this has been something on my mind since i started my blog, personally as long as its not just 10 photos of that person per post i’m happy, i need there some kind of writing..i think that’s why look book has never been my cup of tea! i personally like to give tips and share my knowledge ! x

    1. Amy, so with you on the Lookbook thing. I definitely need more than posed pictures to keep me coming back. Thanks for your comment!

  21. There is a narcissistic element in fashion blogging but I think it also takes guts to put ourselves out there with all our imperfections. With all the perfect, airbrushed images available on the Internet, posting our amateur photos takes a lot of courage, knowing anyone can view it and like, hate or laugh at it. For me, meeting so many bloggers through my blog helps me overcome my feelings of shyness and inadequacy everytime I’m in front of the lens.

    1. Ms. March, you are so right. It DOES take courage to put yourself out there.

      Meeting other bloggers is so nice, isn’t it? I like the idea of a nurturing community of like-minded people.

      Thanks forsharing your perspective.

  22. Looooving the video ! Very personal, very appropriate. And, I have to say, totally agree with the answers. Narcissism plays an important part in blogging, especially fashion blogging. But, again as you said, it’s not reallyy a bad thing, just because narcissism has a bad connotation, doesn’t mean that we can’t turn things around. And yes, the important thing is having a conversation and creating a community. And I do agree with you point of you on comments. Sometimes I get distracted by, well, life, and can’t answer as fast as I could, but I feel constantly guilty until I correct that.

    And to finish of in a very on-topic manner, I finally changed blogs, so it’s just http://fashezine.com/ now, and I do have a little surprise to celebrate this 🙂

    p.s. : also loooooving the necklaces.

    1. Hi sugar, aren’t you sweet! I’m so glad you liked. Thank you for your comment.

      Following you on Fashezine and I want to WIN THAT GIVEAWAY!!!

    1. Thank you Katerina, and yes I am Greek. You keep in touch too. And Happy Birthday! There are a lot of lady bloggers celebrating birthdays lately…interesting!

  23. You are such a natural on camera and I can really relate to what you are saying. I worried that people would think my blog was narcissistic so I shied away from personal style posts but now I have completely embraced them along with my narcissism. I started my blog to work on my writing and found that I was often regurgitating the thoughts of a million other people instead of really finding my own voice. By focusing on my own life and style I think I’ve been able to be more original and creative with my writing and therefore develop my skills at a faster pace. I also wanted to say that I admire the way you respond to everyone on your blog. It’s something I’m still trying to get a handle on and make more time for because it’s worth more than anything in the blogging community. Lovely roses and happy belated!! xx

    1. Aw, thank you Brooke…you are so kind. And of course I love seeing your posts. So glad you’re working on your craft and unleashing that voice. Right on.

  24. I think about this question a lot. I think to some degree I am a narcissist, but on the other hand I do think there is creative value in blogging. I like to think that I’m using my blog as a creative outlet and that I am making valid contributions to the wider fashion blogging community. However, I may just be a delusional narcissist in denial!

    1. Becca, exactly! I don’t find your blog to be narcissistic at all. It is very fresh, down-to-earth, and real. I love that.

      Thanks for stopping by!

  25. I started blogging not too long ago and I have to say I dread taking photographs of myself. I am no model but this is really the only way you can showcase your clothes unless you know people who would model for you. I have a hard time posting them on the blog and I almost wish I could erase my face but that would look totally stupid. I agree that there are some pretty narcissistic fashion bloggers out there but I am sure there are those that just really like clothes and they don’t really like posting pictures of themselves in them.
    http://www.modaepidemic.com

    1. Ms. Moda, I’m so glad you haven’t allowed your feelings about your own photos stop you, because they are so fun. And you have some really great pieces that you SHOULD show off! Your last post rocked.

  26. U look gorgeous on your vlog and this was a really interesting post, it does make you think of blogging a bit differently : ) Thanks for sharing and for saying what has all been on our minds. Have a awesome day xxx

    1. Thank you so very much Jasna! I’m really glad to know my vlog was valuable to you. Thanks for stopping by…I’ll be popping over to FashionJazz soon!

  27. Hahaha I’ve been a blogger for a year and a half now and yet I have never asked myself these questions. I guess that makes me a narcissist. 😉
    Seriously though, I do think bloggers (not just fashion bloggers, but basically anyone with a blog and an opinion) is a little bit (or a lot, in some cases) narcissist. After all, we want people to admire our style and see our viewpoint and agree with our ideas. Otherwise we wouldn’t be bloggers. But blogs are so much more than that. It is about introducing people to something new or topics we wouldn’t normally think about (such as this). I love learning new things on blogs. But only when people aren’t arrogant about it! 😛
    Great post!

    1. Hey, Jennifer, believe me, i wouldn’t have pondered these questions if they hadn’t been sent to me. I will readily admit my vanity/narcissism, but I don’t view it as negative because it makes me the best V I can be. I also love being exposed to new styles, concepts, art, and countries through blogs, as long as the blogger is genuine.

      Thank you for your comment and compliment!

  28. I went back and forth contemplating answering and posting this week’s Friend Friday. I had a feeling that calling myself and other fashion bloggers narcissists would cause some waves. I’m pleasantly surprised that the waves have been minimal! I am not a boat rocker at all, but the more and more I thought about it, the more I thought it was important to show my true feelings on this. I’m so glad you did, too.

    I am very thankful for your video. It put some things in perspective for me, namely being better at commenting back. When I first started out a year ago, my blog audience was a lot smaller, and it was easy for me to keep up. Now that I’m pregnant and my traffic is bigger, I’ve let that connection slip a little. I was aware of it, but not so tuned in to how that may make a regular or a first time commenter feel. I don’t want to turn comments off, but I am encouraged by your video to be a little more aggressive in getting back to as many people as I can. Thank you for that!

    1. Thank you so much for your comment, Indiana. I found your answers to these questions to be insightful as well. It is very time consuming to respond to every comment, and I’ve started posting less frequently in order to allow for comments and responses to resonate, if you will. I’d rather post less frequently and get to know bloggers like you a little better.

      Thanks for popping by, hon!

  29. Just got to reading this now… so behind. But anyway, I loved your thoughts on the importance of commenting and creating that community around your blog. I totally agree – the blogger needs to interact with readers. As usual thanks for participating. I love your posts!

    1. Thanks so much Katy! #FBFF is such a great way to bring bloggers together, and it adds a nice dimension to all our blogs, I think! It’s all cause of you, kid!

  30. I totally just killed most of my lil’ dude’s nap time watching these. That’s how I roll. I tend to comment back on blogs versus emailing responses. How do you feel about that?

    1. HA! I like how you roll, Kristin. Thank you.

      I think commenting back on blogs…your own and others….is awesome. Any way you choose to acknowledge your readers is good.

      Thanks for checking me out!

  31. I agree with you. Especially when I first started up my blog and had no clue as to how the whole commenting thing worked, I was momentarily shocked when some big bloggers (not naming any names, tsk tsk) didn’t respond to my comments.

    But I try to respond to as many as I can because I know her frustrating it can be. You’re gorgeous!

  32. RIGHT ON! Totally agreeing with your points about non-responding bloggers! Ah! love your site! (Sorry just discovered it and I’m overwhelmed with how refreshing it is to hear!)

  33. I don’t want to sound like a crazy fan or something but i have to say this! you inspire me! to make a better blog, and now to be less self conscious. i was worried that a lot of my friends would see me as too narcissistic. and it kept me from posting more photos of myself or some of my eccentric fashion choices. i guess i kept it safe because i didn’t want to come across as narcissistic. but as @fashionbutter said, we should own up to it!

    1. Aw, thank you so much, honey! I’ve always said we’re all in this together, you know? We all h ave different style, personalities, and talents. I love seeing bloggers learning to spread their wings and fly!

      Thank you again for all your comments. They are very appreciated.

  34. Ah 🙂 love this video! Can’t believe I found it so late~ hahah
    I really have to agree with you. Fashion blogging is narcissistic in a way. It’s the truth – you’re recording your own thoughts and your own photos…
    Tt’s always important to respond to your readers and their comments to show that you’re thankful

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