Some cleverly-worded advice from Nine Unforgivable Fashion Crimes, published in the November 2009 issue of Harper’s Bazaar (US edition).
THE POLITE PUMP
It’s not a season for mumsy shoes. It’s a season for shoes that you may need Olympic training to wear (exhibit A: the Louis Vuitton boots our murderess literally killed for). We are talking eight inches, platforms—assault weapons if moved from foot to hand. These are tough times, not demure times. Buy footwear accordingly…
“Yes we can” was pretty catchy, and it meant something too. Everything Marc Jacobs throws on a T-shirt is devilishly effective (especially when celebs take their kit off for charity), but slogan tees should more often than not be thrown into the penalty box. You’re clever and sardonic? Prove it with your personality, not your shirt.
IRONIC GRANDMA DRESSING
We love our grandparents, we really do. They give us cake, tell us stories, and pat our heads when we are sad. They don’t commonly, however, serve as our fashion muses (unless, of course, Jane Birkin is your grandma). And that’s okay; leave grandmas alone. Also, and this is vitally important, if you are a single girl about town, you will never get a date dressing like this. Housedresses, chunky shoes, and glasses do not say it’s sexy time…