Hotter than a Motherf*****

This is the front page of one of the local papers yesterday:

47 degrees Celsius = 116 degrees in Americaspeak. 116 degrees!!!

According to The DailyTelegraph, on Sunday, February 8, 2009, temperatures in mid-western Australia are predicted to be hotter than anywhere else on EARTH!

“Not even the plains of Africa or the deserts of the Middle East will be as hot,” The Daily Telegraph noted in its article, Trains Slowed as Sydney Sizzles.

Yup. It’s supposed to be hotter than Lodwar, Kenya, where the average temp for now is 38C/100F. Hotter than Onitsha, Nigeria, which avearages 34C/93F. It’s going to be hotter than AFRICA. Tell me again why I chose to move here?

And ya’ll thought I was exaggerating the heat! It’s hotter than a mother f***** people! I told you! Can’t you see why I’m freaked the hell out about no air con?

OK, truth be told, I am exaggerating slightly. The predicted heatwave is not actually for the east coast, where I am. It’s more for the mid-west. But still. It’s going to be 34 here, and dude, 93 degrees is too hot to live in without air conditioning. You just sweat your ass off from mid-morning to midnight. Can you imagine mid-summer in NC without air con? Welcome to my (very hot) world.

I’d like to think that I could adopt Nelly’s perspective (It’s gettin‘ hot in here/so take off all your clothes), but there is only so much one can remove, right? Anyway. I can tell you where my ass won’t be on Sunday, and that is outside. No beach, no walk, no nothing. C is already contemplating about how he plans to entertain me (to keep me from going off on another heat-induced rage). You know what that means: shopping. I hope he wears comfortable shoes.

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