Stop the Americanization of Australia? Cause, what, America is like some crazed World War II-esque country bent on world domination and ethnic cleansing? Cause America is some s***hole, third-world country breeding AIDS victims at a prolific rate? Cause America doesn’t bother to give funds or troops or lives or food or resources or talent or books or clothing or medicine or technology to countries that can’t seem to manage on their own? Cause our space programs and scientific discoveries and medical achievements and universities and literacy are so lamentable that we couldn’t possibly have anything to bring to the table? Cause American brands like Coca-Cola, Nike, Ford, Calvin Klein, McDonald’s, Starbucks, KFC, and Jim Beam and are so pathetic that they could never stand the test of time?
Oh, no. Americanization would be a horrific thing. Why would anyone want our money? Our help? Our products? Our discoveries?
That is what gets me about America-haters. They forget how prolific we are. They forget what we HAVE done, HAVE invented, HAVE achieved, HAVE saved, HAVE contributed. I guarantee that somewhere in their home lurks an American show, an American album, an American beverage, or an American label—yet they can only focus on politics or some inebriated, schmuck tourist they heard yammering across a tavern in Europe.
Yeah, it would fully suck to have the FDA, ASPCA, EPA, FBI, and all those governing bodies who ensure our food and world and animals and children are safe. I can’t imagine why anyone would want to be able to vote freely, write freely, pray freely, eat freely, drink freely, and go out there and have the ability to live free as a bird in a country where you still have the right to arm yourself, dance with a drink in your hand, and hit the grocery store at 1:09am when you have a sudden fix for a Twinkie.