Back from Chicago, just coming up for air after meeting with contractors and servicemen about my house (it actually got worse after the last photos I posted), catching up on the onslaught of emails and inquiries at work, and coming to terms with the fact that I’m probably not going to lose 10 pounds before I head to Oz. My ass, like the current state of my kitchen, is sometimes just too much to deal with. I’m hoping to get by on the J. Lo effect instead of the athletic aesthetic. Hoping.
Anyway, I had laser shock therapy session two today and after adding all the crap in paragraph one to that, I’m feeling a bit spent. Though I must admit the stronger numbing cream was somewhat helpful. And the little ball the nurse gave me to squeeze while she electrocuted my ass…and that’s no joke. They really give you something to divert your attention; actually, I think a leather bit between the teeth would have been a good addition. I chewed the holy hell out of my gum in the process. Only five more to go. God bless America. I would never survive torture. I’d sing like a f***ing canary.
Again, anyway, what I was trying to say before I distracted myself is I’m tired. And cranky. I’m trying not to imbibe for a whole two-and-a-half weeks before my trip ’cause truth be told, regular martinis feel so good going down, but I really look like shit after. Now I can drink some liquor and hold it, but my face gives me away. And I need to look good. Rejuvenated. Spa buffed. Toned and taut. Rested and divine. (Don’t worry…I’ll be waking up from this pipe dream soon enough.)
I’m too tired to contemplate something more riveting than this, so forgive me. I just wanted to tell you that I’m probably going to be out errand-running, gift-buying, and exercising…and oh, yeah, picking out paint, floors, paper, carpet, and cabinets for my house…so I may be away for a bit. But one more thing before I go: I was just thinking of a woman’s ministrations when she prepares to travel, versus a man’s. She’s got nails, hair, waxing, shaving, shoe/bag/jewelry/outfit coordination, and then the grand feat of getting it all into two bags. He’s got, what?…maybe hair, trim the nails, shower, shave, then pack jeans, tees, and some dress pants and button-downs into a bag that has room to spare.
Next time, I’m coming back as a man. Damn, they’ve got it good.
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