Not because I don’t like sandals…for me, there is actually no end to sandal season. I wear open, sandal-like stilettos year-round, the only difference between winter and summer being that the material of the shoe is season-appropriate.
But every year I dread the warm up to summer because it means other, less fastidious/conscientious people will be wearing open-toed shoes, and their cracked, peeling, damaged hooves will be on full display. There is almost nothing more repugnant than nasty, callused, neglected feet.
No, let me rephrase that.
Nasty feet on men is nasty. Nasty feet on women? Downright vulgar. Absotively dis-gust-ing. Girlfriends should know better.
What gets me most about the frightening feet phenomenon is partially the level of decline human feet can reach, and more baffling, how they got to that point. Even more bizarre is the put-together woman who upon initial scan, seems OK. Hair is done. Outfit is clean and neat. Fingernails manicured or Frenched. And as the eye continues downward…CRIKEY!!!! Get a load of the crust on those heels! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WTF?
So tell me, all ye practially cloven-hooved creatures, how is it that your feet got to be so “jacked up,” as Eddie Murphy so eloquently puts it in the clip below.
Is it that you’re just too busy to take yourself for a pedi? Funds low and you can’t afford one? Can’t reach your feet in order to deal with them yourself? Can’t remember the last time you actually looked down and saw your feet? Or is it that you think no one will notice? Perhaps you just don’t give a damn?
Whatever the case, let me tell you this: you might be just fine with your funky feet. But do not think you’re getting away with anything, ’cause we did notice. If you’re going to subject the rest of us to them, please, please, please make sure they are presentable! Pedicured feet is the same as a courtesy flush in a public bathroom. Shit happens. But we don’t have to wallow in it.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
State-mandated pedicures are a must in the summer. My personal goal for this summer? Never wear flip flops, no matter how casual the event. To yoga is probably acceptable but that’s it. I am tired of seeing people waddle around in them day in and day out.
Amen, Tex! I’ve never been a fan of flip flops and try my hardest to avoid them. If I see one more teeny bopper in those hideous brown ones, I may just scream.