All in favor of big bags, say "Aye!"

I may have taken a shot at little Jessica in my last post, but it’s only because I’ve been sweating her bag collection for quite some time. The girl has likely spent the equivalent of a small country’s GDP on her habit, but she has some enviable totes indeed.

Tex’s comment about loving big bags got me thinking about the subject beyond my usual line of thinking, which is always: which bag do I want next? Sidebar here: Honestly, I’ve not been very interested in bags since I acquired a colossal, black pebble leather Cole Haan Village collection tote last year that was (thankfully) not produced in mass quantity. And that is truly saying something, ’cause I am a bag fiend. But this bag is built to last, stylish but not It-bag-faddish, can hold personal and work effects, and I still get compliments on it regularly. On top of that, I’ve still not seen anyone in my area with it, and that always makes me feel better because I’m not a fan of ubiquity.

In fact, nothing I’ve seen besides last year’s Burberry Prorsum Knight bag (appropriately named; it is a Knight in shining armor), has really even caught my eye. I pursued this bag, yes I did. Marched my ass straight into Burberry and felt weak in the knees at the sheer heft of it. And all those studs, the black leather…the Knight made me feel like I was reliving my ’80s goth days and the bondage-y feel of it would be terrifically corrupt in Corporate America. I was having magnificent delusions of subversion. But then I looked at the price tag, and I had another reason to go weak in the knees: the Knight was ex-pen-sive. What I needed was a real-live knight with a big fat wallet to purchase it for me. Alas, no knight, and no Knight on my arm. Cole Haan it remains.

OK, now that I’ve had a cold shower, back to my original intent for this post: The Big Bag. Bad on the back, yes, absolutely. Dangerous around full lead crystal and bone china…no doubt about it. But in Jessica’s, Tex’s, and my defense, The Big Bag is what keeps us from looking like bag ladies. You know, those lamentable women you see trudging to their cubicles downtown with four or five bags in hand? (I’ve counted them many a time, believe me. It’s a great way to pass the time while trapped in claustrophobic elevator hell.) The suburban, clueless bag lady usually carries a:

  • Circa-1990 leather flap Coach bag
  • Freebie corporate-logo-emblazoned tote or laptop bag
  • Too-large gym duffel that hangs to her knees (need to come back to that in another post)
  • Lunch bag or a shopping-bag-turned-lunch-bag
  • Grocery bag full of treats for the requisite office fundraiser or Friday potluck

Bag multiplicity is a fashion crime that is easily prevented by carrying a Big. Ass. Bag. Then I say you’re entitled to one other bag, likely a work tote or laptop bag to balance out the other side. Even mules carry balanced loads, right?


  1. hahahahha, perfect diagnosis of the multiple bag lady.

    Besides the gigantic bad, I am also big into fold over clutches right now. But they aren’t really practical for day. But when do I really care about what’s practical anyway?

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