Where have all the real men gone?

Just out of a nice hot bath, which I’d like to say was purely for the enjoyment of it, but alas, ‘tis not so. Truth is, I have overtrained. The bath was a necessity, as my hip flexors, knee, and even my ankle are telling me to ease up. Nothing excruciating, but after a week of waking up in the 5:00 hour, plus hitting the weights hard, doing cardio twice a day some days, and practicing yoga, I’m tired. All the training is a means to an end, yes, but I also just love it. And I used to wonder why people run marathons. Now I get it.

Anyway, the bath was a rare opportunity for me to just soak and think. It was sort of the beginning of my winding down for some time off—a desperately needed break I am very much looking forward to. So be warned: after next week, I’ll likely be away from the blog for a few weeks—I plan to totally disconnect. Seriously. I’m shutting down, stopping the push emails to my BlackBerry, and I’m not going to let the fact that I haven’t posted a new blog in weeks get to me. I plan to sleep late, have some cocktails, build some fires, and try not to have a care in the world. Man, sounds good, doesn’t it?

So, while I was in the bath, I was thinking about companionship and men. Since I haven’t been on a date since I got separated, this has been on my mind quite a bit, but I will confess that while I was soaking, I also re-read an old Glamour Magazine article: “Pssst: 100 Secrets Men Are Begging You to Read.”

The article wasn’t especially enlightening (let’s face it; how many times can these mags rehash the same subject and give us something new?)—but it did get me thinking about the dynamics of male/female companionship, about the lack of real men in today’s world. Well, the last part of that statement…it’s been a bone of contention for me for a long time. Here’s my problem: I am attracted to super-Alpha Male types. And they’re just really hard to find in Bankersland, USA.

Is it so wrong to want a man who can actually pick me up and carry me out if my house goes up in flames? Who handles adversity with resolve instead of tears, deals with confrontation and doesn’t run from it? Who can change a tire? Who would never think of letting a woman walk to her car at night, alone? Is that too much to ask?

Where have the real men gone?

Ladies, please, if you have children—if you have a son—teach him to be a man, for crying out loud. The world has enough overachieving, self-absorbed, sniveling frat boys who don’t know how to interact properly with the female species. Teach your boys to cherish women, to open their doors and to be kind. To guard their well-being and to appreciate them. To get up off their asses and offer their seats to any woman or senior citizen who was not lucky enough to get one.

And if you have girls—please help them understand that chivalry and kindness are not an affront to a woman’s strength, but a way to honor them. The man that talks down to a woman is the same as a woman who refuses to allow a man to be a man—it’s insecurity in both cases, plain and simple. Why on earth would anyone be offended by an act of kindness?


  1. Pingback: Serene