I make the paper. Incognito this time…was floored when I read the article because I wasn’t expecting the mention. But it’s still kind of cool, nonetheless. Appreciate the compliment, VICTORIA, for sure! I’m always curious about how people perceive me. So far in the last couple of weeks, I’ve heard ball breaker and Alpha Female. That’s totally OK, and accurate to a degree. Well, I am not a ball breaker—I don’t believe in pursuing the manliest of men only to emasculate them and make their lives hell. Please. Be the man. But anyway.
Below is the article, which was written by “Victoria Stone.” See if you can figure out which woman is me…shouldn’t be too hard! I cracked up when I read it. I had no idea after meeting Victoria that I would end up being in an article. Funny.
I do agree wholeheartedly with her, however. Alpha Females need not lamb-it-up in hopes of securing a date. You know, my mom tried to give me the same piece of advice once, more along the lines of “you’ve got to tone it down.” To which I replied: How do I tone me down? That riled me. I am who I am. She, of all people, should know by now that I cannot be anyone but myself. And if that’s too much for some plaid-shorts-polo shirt-wearing-country club-banker, or some insecure little Greek man, so be it. Really, you need not apply; I’m not interested in sissies anyway.
Posted on Wed, Sep. 05, 2007
A woman doesn’t have be a little lamb–or does she?
On a recent Friday night, some guys from work took me out for drinks at Connolly’s and the topic of my friend Wynn came up.
She’s a cute, successful saleswoman in her mid-40s. Despite her tanning bed addiction, there’s no reason she should be single.
One guy asked why Wynn had never been married.
All I could come up with was that, despite her perky appearance, she’s got a strong personality. Men probably know she doesn’t “need” them because she’s totally self-sufficient.
His response? “We want to be the center of the universe, baby. Center of the universe.”
I was as disgusted with his statement as I am with day-old guacamole. Just because a woman is self-sufficient doesn’t mean she won’t make her man the king of her world.
The best situation is when two people don’t “need” each other, but choose to be true partners. But how often does this actually occur?
The next day, my girls and I were eating a late dinner at M5 when a similar conversation came up.
Veronica is a professional, newly separated, in her 30s and single. She’s got a raven black mane and a kick-ass body. And she takes a balls-out approach to life.
Her sister-in-law tells her: “You’re a lion. You’ve got to be a lamb! Men want lambs!”
Veronica thinks only an Alpha Male can handle her. Is she right?
Consider Jennie, also an exec, who is married to a successful Internet entrepreneur.
Jennie says they rarely fight since they split the decisions: “I make all the little decisions like what we’re going to do this weekend. He makes all the big decisions like if we can afford a new car. It only looks like I’m in charge because there are so many more little decisions than really big decisions in life!”
As an uber-driven female, I have found that I attract what I call “Zeta Males” — men who need career counselors or bank-roller.
I want an equal, not a skateboarding buddy. And I don’t want to pretend to be a damsel in distress.
Do Alpha Females have to act like lambs to attract the lions? NO.
It’s as bad as saying that you enjoy sex, then after you get in a relationship declare that you’d rather wash your dog than get it on like one.
I still think honesty should play a lead role in dating. Or is it required to be a lion in sheep’s clothing?
“Victoria Stone” is the pen name of an exec who works uptown. Names have been changed to protect privacy. Of course. Send comments to firstname.lastname@example.org (put `lamb’ in subject field).