I hate waiting. Of course, that’s no revelation.
Thus, it’s completely ironic that right now, the story of my life is waiting. I’ve blogged about this before. I’m still frustrated as **** about it. You know, why can’t I have a normal existence? Something at least manageable? Something other than this f****** unresolvable situation? Those of you who know me well likely know what I am referring to. So let me say this: I’m going out of my freakin‘ mind. This waiting. This not knowing. This hoping. I’m sick about it. I’m already tired of riding this roller coaster, and I’ve just climbed on board.
I wish that I could understand what it takes for a girl like me to find happily ever after. Because right now, it feels incredibly unattainable. I mean, I apparently scare the s*** out of most men. Why is that? How can I be anyone other than me? How can there be so few real men?
All of a sudden, this is all hitting WAY too close to home. I’m petrified and pissed off and paralyzed. I want so desperately to believe that things will work out, but I’m wondering if I’m not just a gullible idiot. Waiting around for Prince-F******-Charming to roll up. Waiting and wishing. Stupid girl.