Viva Brazil…I Second That!

Subject: Vanity Fair, September 2007 issue, page 336: “Blame It on Brazil.”

For you Brazilophiles (Lisa) and those of us who’ve not had the good fortune to experience Brazil first-hand, this article is a must read. Fantastically written by A.A. Gill, this article tells the truth about what is most important in Brazil: booty. Plain and simple. Damn, I am in the wrong country, people!!!

A few excerpts…

“There are many ways of bisecting the world, of making binary distinctions between north and south, haves/have-nots, wheat/rice, Baywatch/Al Jazeera, shirt in/shirt out. But what is most interesting, most telling, is the division between the breast world and bottom world. The United States is right at the cleavage of the breast world. Breast Is Best. It is the wholesome American bosom, perky with promise. Breasts point at you from billboards, glossy pages, shopwindows, and while you’re running for rush-hour taxis…The bottom world is most of the Southern Hemisphere and includes much of Africa, as well as the subcontinent of India and those parts of the Far East that stated a preference–as far as we can tell, the Intuit are bottom folk.

…then there’s Latin America, booty country from the Rio Grande to Tierra del Fuego. The bottom world meets the breast world at the gringo border. Derriere mecca, Rearsville central, the vibrating, syncopating, sashaying, working-it, heaving seat of bottoms is Brazil. Rio: proudly, majestically, the butt of the world. The rapt adoration of bottoms by Brazilians is astonishing. It’s the defining characteristic of Brazilian society….

In Brazil, they feel no pain, no responsibility. All they feel is impending great expectations, and buttocks. Ultimately, it’s the vainest country on earth, besotted by the way it looks, its tan, its glutes, its bikini…Brazil looks in the mirror every morning and loves, just adores, what it sees. Imagine what that feels like.”