Last week was a tough week. Attending the visitation and funeral for Sean Clark was emotionally exhausting. Just terrifically sad. Easter fasting (even if only for a week and not the full 40-day meat fast) always leaves me feeling drained—I end up eating a lot of cold meals like salads and shellfish in order to avoid carb gain. The bizarre cold snap only added to my feeling of being constantly cold…it was FREEZING…the coldest Easter week I can remember. My fridge went on the fritz so I also had to do a bunch of emergency ice/food/cooler shuffling until it got fixed. Then yesterday, we were on the road to visit relatives for Easter.
The result: I’m at home sick today. Sore throat or something. Not deathly ill; just a head cold. But I think last week has finally taken it’s toll. Despite all that, I feel like I’m coming out of a few weeks of fog. Hopefully my disinterest in blogging is also lifting.
Been doing a lot thinking, resting, and trying to rehab my knees. I think the knees are marginally better, but I also know what I can and can’t do in order to ensure they don’t get worse. That’s more than I knew before.
I also know that life is short. Yeah, we’ve all heard it before. But it really is. I’ve been taking stock of my own life these past weeks and have realized that life is passing me by in certain aspects. Now I just have to decide what to do with that realization. It’s not easy, and my inclination, despite my here-I-am-like-it-or-not attitude, is not to disrupt a comfortable ritual, be it good or not. There is a bliss in ignorance, but also a boredom that I’m beginning to feel. So I’m asking myself, do you really have the courage to be you? Do you really have the courage to make life be as close to perfect for you as possible? I don’t know. I hope. We’ll see.